A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
Here it is again. Another New Year is started and it’s time to submit another column for the monthly club newsletter. At first I was just going to update the one I wrote last January . I thought it was a pretty good column with all my New Year technological resolutions. I’m embarrassed to tell you that I didn’t do a very good job of keeping them. Maybe I should just make a resolution to procrastinate more. I’ll bet I could keep that one.
Then I gave it a little more thought and decided I could do a column with predictions about what technological advances would occur in 2011. Heck, I can make predictions just as well as John Dvorak, Steve Fox, Tom Spindler or any of those technical guys. Wait a minute, I feel a prediction coming on right now. I foresee that in December 2011, the ‘Twas parody will be recycled in the monthly club newsletter.
After a little more thought, I decided that a man of my talents could easily start some new New Year’s technological traditions. I could take an old computer, install a countdown timer and tie a cord around it. After making sure the countdown time is synchronized, I could tie a stout cord to the machine and dangle it out the window. At midnight, when the timer hits zero, I’d cut the cord and let it fall to the ground. Doesn’t that sound like a lot more fun than watching some old ball in slime square fall? Who needs fireworks on New Year’s? Lets just network a bunch of computers together. Have them randomly display the world famous blue screen. We’ll get a lot of ooohs and aaahs for sure.
Epilogue: I almost hate to tell you what I’ve decided to do for this months column. I had a lot more ideas to write about. I usually start writing early in the month so that I have plenty of time for editing, correcting spelling, etc. Unfortunately, on Christmas Day, I fell on the concrete and bruised my ribs. I also fractured a wrist and am forced into one handed keyboarding, so this column isn’t going to have an ending.
Once again, I have proved that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser. Thanks for reading.