How To Keep A healthy level Of Insanity

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
• Page yourself over the intercom.
• When ordering chicken in a restaurant, ask if it is male or female.
• Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.   Always wear them one day after your boss does.
• Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing.   For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
• Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
• Put your garbage can on top of your desk and label it "IN"
• Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
• Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts, etc., in the break room.  When people complain that there was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've got to be faster than that."
• Put decaffeinated in the coffee maker for three weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over there caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
• Reply to everything someone says with "That's what you think."
• Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy"
• Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working space.  Insist to others you like it that way.
• Don't use any punctuation.
• When at a counter paying your bill, ask the cashier if they take Confederate currency.
• As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Ask people what sex they are.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party cause you're not in the mood.
• When you use a touch tone phone, randomly hit numbers while talking.   Ask the other person not to do that.
• Copy this web page and e-mail to everyone in your address book, especially if they told you not send them things like this.