Tony was the Night Baker on the submarine. He loved his job. By passing out warm pastries to the mid-watch crew, he never had to buy a beer when the boat was in port. It was also a good job because the Chief seldom came in at night to see what he was doing.
One night, after finishing the sticky buns for breakfast, Tony had a leftover piece of dough. From past experience, Tony knew that throwing it in the trash would cause problems. When the yeast fermented, the dough would become too large. Tony did what many other bakers do. He placed the leftover dough in a pie tin and put it in the oven to “kill” the yeast. He turned the oven off.
After finishing his galley clean up, Tony went out to the mess for a cup of coffee. He enjoyed the late night BS sessions with other crew members. He completely forgot about the leftover sweet dough.
After a couple of hours exchanging sea stories, he went back in the galley. He retrieved the pie tin from the oven. Due to some unintended chemical reactions, the dough had created an unusual shape. It looked exactly like something a farmer would find in the pasture. The cooling oven and the rising yeast made the pile of dough look like a pie: a cow pie. It was a rather smallish thing and looked like it might have been human excrement.
Not wanting to waste a great art creation, Tony waited until morning. He placed the fake cow pie in his buddy Joe’s rack. When Joe returned to his bunk, he was astonished and angered. Why would anyone do such a thing when the head was nearby. He put on a pair of gloves and started to clean up the mess. When he discovered it wasn’t real, he did what any good sub sailor would do. The pie soon found a new home in a different rack.
For the next few days, the poop creation made the rounds. Finally, some brave sailor put in the Chief Of the Boat’s bunk. The COB dutifully passed it on. For some strange reason, after the cow pie appeared in the XO’s bed, it disappeared forever.
Foot Note: over the years, Tony tried to replicate the strange piece of dough. He was never successful.