A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
My grandson twisted my arm last month and forced me to take him to CyPhaCon. When I was younger, I went to a lot of science fiction conventions. Back then it was mostly Star Trek conventions. Now that I’m older, I have a hard time remembering if I’m a “Trekkie” or a “Trekker”. SciFi conventions are a lot of fun. Unfortunately, they can be pretty dangerous too. That is why you always see uniformed police officers on duty. About the only thing that is really safe is the healthy food you can buy.
The internet is a lot like a SciFi convention. There are so many things to see and do. You can even read stupid articles written by old men that ramble on about gatherings of SciFi people. Everyone also knows about the dangers and we all keep our antivirus programs updated. I know that all of the SWLAPCUG club members have recently checked their router firmware for updates and have their firewalls activated to keep the bad guys away. Since everyone is so safe, I thought that this month I’d talk about some of the fun things to do on the internet.
There’s about 161,000,000 of them. I know that everyone doesn’t have the same idea of what’s fun, but maybe if I tell you about my favorite sites, you might find something entertaining.
One of the things you can find a lot of on the internet are free games to play. If you’re looking for games, a good place to start is the Freeware Genius lists of top games. My personal favorite online game is Texas Hold’em Poker. There are a lot of places to play, but you’ll usually find me at World Series Poker at games.com. If you like to play hearts, I recommend you try Bicycle Hearts at the Microsoft Gaming Zone. The Gaming Zone has been around for quite a while and they have lots of games.
I’ve never been much of a television or movie watcher, but I love to listen to the old time radio shows. Most evenings I’m listening to The Lone Ranger, Gunsmoke, Jack Benny, or my personal favorite, Fibber McGee & Molly. My hard drive has about 21 GB of radio program files. One of the best places to find them is at The Internet Radio Archive.
In December 1995, Bill Watterson retired from cartooning and I lost my daily dose of one of the funniest cartoons ever. Now, thanks to the internet, I can still read Calvin & Hobbes everyday. You can probably find a daily comic you’ll like at GOCOMICS, AZ Central, or ArcaMax Publishing. None of the comics sites require registration. Make sure you check out Pickles, another one of my favorites.
“The Alphabet has been Updated with 15 Exciting New Letters” is only one of the funny satires you’ll find in The Onion. The fictional paper was started in 1988. They have been around more that twenty years, so they must be doing something right. Their fictionalized news seems so genuine that it has occasionally been cited as real news. I’ve got to warn you though. There is often adult language used in the paper. Another funny satire site is the Bongo News.
Another web site that never fails to make me laugh is Geezer Planet, a senior citizen humor site. If you like senior citizen humor, you also might like to check out Geezer Guff.
The Darwin Awards is a chronicle of enterprising demises honoring those who improve the species…by accidentally removing themselves from it!
Maybe I shouldn’t admit it, but I think some of the videos on You Tube are extremely funny. I also visit the College Humor website almost every day.
Sometimes when I’m really bored, I click the Random Link Generator 40 or 50 times and end up finding an interesting web site to browse.
As you might or might not know, I’m a transplanted Northerner. When I talk with my brother and sisters on Facebook, I usually translate into Southern for them. Everybody gets a few laughs. Translating into a dialect is easy when you use The Dialectizer. As I write this you can convert into eight different dialects. It hardly ever fails to make me laugh.
Here is a sample:
As y’all might o’ might not know, I’m a transplanted No’therner. When ah talk wif mah brother an’ sisters on Facebook, ah usually translate into Southern fo’ them, dawgone it. Ev’rybody gits a few laughs. Translatin’ into a dialeck is easy when yo’ use Th’ Dialeckizer. As ah write this hyar yo’ kin cornvaht into eight diffrunt dialecks. It hardly evah fails t’make me laugh.
That’s just a few of the things I like to do on the internet for fun. I hope you enjoyed them too and maybe found a new site you’ll visit often. Do you have a favorite place you think everyone should know about? Why not take a minute right now and go to the club website. Log in, go to the forums and post the link so we can all check it out.
Oh, by the way, the grandson is already making plans for a costume for next years CyPhaCon. I suspect it might be one that is also suitable for Contraband Days.
Thanks for reading.