Posts Tagged: ‘Humor’

Little Red and Little White Guys (2025-12)

December 7, 2025 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

I was looking over my past articles that I’ve written in December for the club newsletter.  Almost all of them with “Bah! Humbug!”  Almost immediately, a little guy sitting on my shoulder in a white suit whispered in my right ear, “That isn’t very Christmas like.  You should get in the spirit of the holiday.  Why don’t you write something positive for a change?” Then another little man in a red suit sitting on the other shoulder whispered in the left ear, “Start with the Bah!  Humbug!  You don’t want your reading audience to think you’ve changed your stiyle.”  A conversation between those two little guys followed:

Little Guy in White (LGW): You should write about how Christmas is giving and not receiving.
Little Guy in Red (LGR): The readers would rather know about how to create a computer virus.
LGW: How about a nice story of the great food you can eat at Christmas time.
LGR: They would probably rather read about “passing gas” apps you can download from the Play Store.
LGW: You know you shouldn’t listen to that red guy. Write an article on how to install free programs.
LGR: That’s what I said. Most of the gas apps are free.
LGW: You’ve done so many of those kinds of stories in the past. This year you should write about Christmas joy and harmony.
LGR: You know that it is so much more fun to make up something out of your imagination.
LGW: Maybe you could write an informative story about how Facebook and Twitter manipulated their news feeds to get that guy with the orange hair elected.
LGR: That’s actually not a bad idea. You could talk about how stupid users are to believe that stuff.
LGW: I’ve got it. Write a funny story about Christmas shopping on Black Friday.
LGR: That’s got some possibilities. The crowds, the deals that really aren’t so great, the greediness, etc.
LWG: You should try writing something that will make people laugh.
LGR: Are we back to “passing gas” apps?
LGW: Whatever you decide to write, do it quick. It’s almost deadline time.
LGR: We finally agree on something.
LGW: How about another one of those informative articles on how to use the club web site?
LGR: Now you’re hallucinating. Nobody will read an article like that.
LGW: Bah! Humbug!
LGR: Ditto!
Thanks for reading.

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My Reading List (2025-10)

October 5, 2025 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

Ever since I learned how, I’ve always been an avid reader.  My parents didn’t have a television until I was about ten years old.  That never bothered me. The library had a lot of entertainment.  In later life, when I was in the Navy, I seldom watched the ship’s movie.  I was busy finishing reading one more chapter of my book before lights out.  These days, I still read at least twenty magazines each month.  I am usually reading three or four books at a time.  I’ve got my bedside book, bathroom book, digital book and an audio book loaded on my phone.

This year I did something new.  I created a “summer reading list” of all the books I was going to read this past season.  I’ve never felt the need to do that before.  As I’ve gotten a little older, my memory is starting to slide a little.  I thought that a reading list would remind me of books I’ve wanted to read.

Now that we’re into October, I realize that I haven’t finished my reading list.  I thought I’d take a few minutes and share my books to read list with you.  These are all books that I haven’t yet read.  I’ve included the Amazon link for each title just in case anyone else would like to read them.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think any of them are available from the Parish library.

• The Manly Art of Knitting – The description says it all. Who am I to not read a cult classic.
• Folks, This Ain’t Normal: A Farmer’s Advice for Happier Hens, Healthier People, and a Better World – With a sixteen word title, this just has to be a great book.
• Winning Lotto / Lottery For Everyday Players – I’ll read this if I ever start playing the lottery.
• The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China – I’ve been to China two or three times and never realized this was a problem.
• Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-Tung – Confucius say, “Smooth words and fawning looks are seldom found with love. ”
• Much Ado About Nothing: The Restored Klingon Text – Shakespeare kind of looked like a Klingon.
• What’s Your Poo Telling You? – Sometimes I’m just overly curious.
• Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself – I’ve been thinking of taking up woodworking and this looks like an interesting first project.
• Reusing Old Graves – I need someplace to put those fancy coffins that I’m going to make.
• A Passion for Donkeys – I figure that any book that gets mostly five star ratings on Amazon must be a good one to read.
• The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America – I just hate going to the Walmart parking lot.

I guess you’ve probably figured out by now that I don’t really plan on reading all of these books.  I will admit that I have read one of the books on the list.  I won’t tell you which one.  You can feel free to read any of them and send a review to club newsletter.

A final thought.  Looking at this book list, I’m reminded of one book it makes me want to read it again.  It was one of Ray Bradbury’s best books.

That’s all of my thoughts for October. My mind is empty again. Thanks for reading.

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April Fools Pranks (2025-04)

April 6, 2025 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

April is here again.  I won’t make the same mistake I did last year when I wrote an April Fools column about leaving Baton Rouge.  I sure got a lot of questions about why I was moving.  I’ve always been an April Fooler type of person.  It all started several years ago when I was almost born on April 1.

In this modern age, April 1 pranks almost beg to be played on someones computer.  Almost every one uses a laser mouse these days.  They can be easily disabled with a small piece of tape or a post it note on the sensor.  Many people won’t notice and will have a hard time figuring out why all of a sudden their mouse isn’t working.  You can confuse them even more by opening mouse properties in the control panel.  Change the mouse speed to the slowest setting will make any mouse activities an ordeal.

Another prank that has been around forever can still confuse even a veteran computer user.  Simply take a screen shot of your victim’s computer.  Then hide all of the desktop icons and replace their wallpaper with the screen shot.  Sit back and watch them click on icons that won’t load a program.

Another quick prank is to open Google’s home page in a browser.  Click on preferences and change the default language.  You’d be surprised at how many people this trick will fool.

All of the following pranks in this article have been tested on Windows computers.  I haven’t done any research to see if they will work on Apple’s Operating System(s).  It shouldn’t be to hard to find out if you’re interested.

Many users don’t know about sticky keys.  Sticky keys will change how the Ctrl, Alt, Shift and Windows Key will function.  When enabled, keys are serialized instead of operating together.  For instance, instead of typing “Shift – a” to capitalize, you would have to type “Shift”, release the key and then type “a”.  This key change will drive an unsuspecting victim crazy.  Sticky keys are enabled easily by pressing the “Shift” key five times in quick succession.

An evil prank that you should only play on someone that won’t beat you up is to cause their computer to shut down.  Right click on one of the icons on your victims desk top.  Type the following in the target box: %windir%\System32\shutdown.exe -s -f -t 100 -c “Your Message Here”.  “Your Message Here” can be replaced with whatever message you like.  I use something like “That does not compute so I am shutting down” or “I’m sleepy. I think I’ll shut down and rest now.”

Whenever your victim double clicks on that shortcut, their program will not start.  Instead, your message will display for 100 seconds (unless you change the number in the target box.)  Then the computer will shut down.

These computer pranks are all designed for the Windows operating system.  Although they are non-destructive, you run the risk of aggravating the user and making him or her possibly want to harm you.  Use them at your own risk.

Remember, pranks are supposed to be for fun.  Use discretion when implementing them.  It would be nice if you fix their computer for them afterword, but who am I to tell you what to do?

Thanks for reading.

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Christmas Gag Gifts (2024-12)

December 1, 2024 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

Bah!  Humbug!  It’s that time of the year again.  All of the retailers are busy trying to figure out how to get our last nickel.  The little ones are all being extra good.  Instead of a simple greeting of “hello” and “good-bye”, people think they have to yell “HO! HO! HO!”  There always seems to be a song that every radio station plays over and over.  Thankfully, for the past few years, it hasn’t been about Grandma getting run over by a reindeer.

It’s also time for everyone to make their gift lists.  If you’ve got someone on your list that likes technology, I’ve got a few suggestions for things you might consider buying them.  If you were planning to get me something, I don’t need any of this stuff.

This Bluetooth Beanie Hat will replace your your headset or ear pods and will keep your head warm at the same time.

A steering wheel laptop desk is the perfect gift for someone that spends a lot of time in their car.  There isn’t any information on whether this can be used with a self-driving vehicle.

This Pedestal Stand Holder is the perfect gift for the geek who spends a lot of time in the room.  I can just imagine someone reaching for some paper and knocking the darn thing over.

ThxToms Flashlights Gloves would be a good gift for somebody.  I’m not sure who, but somebody.

If you’re looking to buy something for a gamer friend, check out these Finger Gloves.  You’d think they would make a Pro Version, which would cover all your fingers.

It might get awful hot during a Louisiana summer.  You could give some Air‑Conditioned Cooling Pants.  Accessorize them with these Air‑Conditioned Shoes.  I suppose the next thing will be Air‑Conditioning Hats.

This 32gb Thumb Drive is pretty thumby.  Too bad there isn’t a choice of fingers.

Although it is not really techy, who wouldn’t want The Official BS Button?  This would be even better if it had a rechargeable battery.

Sometimes the Gift Box can be better than the gift.

Thanks for reading.

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A Cajun Clickers Poem (2024-06)

June 2, 2024 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

At last month’s presentation of “Having Fun With AI”, I was asked to print this poem in the club newsletter.  Note: all bold, italics and links are duplicated as written by the AI.

Microsoft Copilot was asked to “write a poem about cajun clickers computer club using zoom”.  Copilot responded: Certainly!  Here’s a poetic tribute to the Cajun Clickers Computer Club, a community of tech enthusiasts who gather virtually via Zoom:

Cajun Clickers: A Virtual Ode

In the heart of Baton Rouge, where bayous flow,
A club of tech-savvy souls, their passion aglow.
They gather not in person, but through the digital haze,
On Zoom’s pixelated canvas, where knowledge plays.

Cajun Clickers, they proudly call themselves,
An all-volunteer crew, like digital elves.
From novices to experts, they form a diverse band,
Their common thread? A love for circuits and command.

Workshops unfold, like blooming magnolias,
Windows 11 secrets whispered, Android’s euphorias.
Genealogy SIGs trace roots through binary veins,
And Q&A sessions dance like code in the rain.

Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays they convene,
From morning’s first light till the screen turns serene.
Zoom squares fill with faces, each pixel a friend,
As they troubleshoot, explore, and their tech skills extend.

Cajun Clickers, a bridge across bytes,
Their mission: to demystify, to ignite.
From hardware to software, they weave a fine thread,
Connecting generations, where curiosity is fed.

Their virtual home, a cozy digital den,
Where ones and zeros blend, and friendships begin.
They laugh, they learn, they share bytes and memes,
And when the sun sets, they dream in binary streams.

So here’s to the Cajun Clickers, their screens all aglow,
In the bayou’s embrace, where knowledge rivers flow.
May their Zoom calls be merry, their circuits aligned,
As they navigate the bytescape, their passion enshrined.

Note: The Cajun Clickers Computer Club is a real organization in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, dedicated to promoting computer literacy. You can find more about them on their website.

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April Fool’s Goodbye (2024-04)

March 31, 2024 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

I’ve heard it said that all good things must come to an end.  Unfortunately, sometimes it is true.  It is with great sadness that I must announce that I will soon be leaving Louisiana.  In 2005, when I relocated to Lake Charles, I planned to never move again.  After more than twenty years in the Navy, I lived in a lot of places.

Fast forward to 2018.  The grandsons had relocated to Livingston.  The wife wanted to be closer to them, so we moved.  I planned never to move again.

Another fast forward to 2023.  Those darn kids have up and resettled again.  They’ve moved to Rexburg, Idaho.  Other than being somewhere in Yankee land, I’m not sure where that is.  Circumstances are forcing me to relocate once more.  The Mrs. wants to move again.

Over the years, I’ve been in a lot of computer clubs.  The Cajun Clickers has definitely been one of my favorites.  The people are friendly, knowledgeable and put up with my idiosyncrasies.  What else could an old man ask for?

I guess I could make a really long commute every month, but that just doesn’t seem feasible.  Maybe I could be a “remote” member.  I could Zoom into the meetings and keep up with everyone by their articles that they write for the club newsletter.

I will be more than happy to continue writing articles for the newsletter should someone continue to edit the thing.  I won’t be leaving for a few months so there will be plenty of time to turn over my club Newsletter, Website and other duties to someone new.

This announcement will probably be the shortest Clicker article I’ve ever submitted to the Newsletter.  I hope that it will still be going strong next year in April.

Thanks for reading my April Fools article.

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Twelve Days of Clubmas (2023-12)

November 26, 2023 Posted by Tiny

Twelve Days of Clubmas
by Tiny Ruisch
Without any apologies to Anonymous

On the first day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the second day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the third day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the fourth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the fifth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the sixth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the seventh day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the eighth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Eight one on one helps,
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the ninth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Nine APCUG speakers,
Eight one on one helps,
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the tenth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Ten virus free downloads,
Nine APCUG speakers,
Eight one on one helps,
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the eleventh day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Eleven software updates,
Ten virus free downloads,
Nine APCUG speakers,
Eight one on one helps,
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

On the twelfth day of Clubmas,
My computer sent to me
Twelve stupid poem parodies,
Eleven software updates,
Ten virus free downloads,
Nine APCUG speakers,
Eight one on one helps,
Seven freeware programs,
Six computer workshops,
Five Zoom meetings,
Four new club members,
Three computer club meetings,
Two computer backups, and
A newsletter on the club web site.

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Holiday Ranting (2022-11)

October 30, 2022 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

Here they come again!  This is the time of the year when the Holiday idiots show their true colors to the rest of the world.  So many people at this time of year forget to stop and think.  Others remember to stop, but forget to think.

I’m writing this article in early October, but I’ll bet I can predict the news reports we’ll get on November 1.   Some poor kid will get either razor blades or poison in their candy.  Dentist’s will buy Halloween candy by the pound.  Convenience stores will get robbed by people in their Halloween costumes.  Someone will get run over by a drunken driver.

October and November is also when tech companies make all their new product announcements.  Do you think it has anything to do with the upcoming Christmas season?  So far, this years announcements haven’t been overly exciting.  Apple is making some changes in their watches.  You don’t hear much about the gold designer watch anymore.  Microsoft seems to be continuing its strategy of renaming everything.  With the new names, comes some higher prices.  Google seems to be trying things to make money besides advertising.  More stuff for the Google Graveyard.  The only thing I can’t figure out about big tech companies is why, if they can afford to sue each other for billions of dollars, can’t they lower their prices a little.

Halloween is followed by an even scarier holiday – Thanksgiving.  If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, your spouse has never taken you out for Black Friday Shopping.  I’m a fan of good shopping deals, but not if they come at the risk of life and limb.  The Thanksgiving news stories are also the same every year.  There will be at least one customer trampled to death when the doors are opened on Friday.  Isn’t it strange that it usually happens at a Walmart?  Is it because they are the biggest retailer?  Do they have the best deals?  Could it be that their customers are less intelligent?

Thankfully, Black Friday is starting to change.  Many retailers start earlier and spread the chaos over a longer time.  Many of the deals seem to be moving on‑line instead of in‑store.  Hopefully, this will ease the dangers of this pseudo holiday.

Other news stories for the holiday season will include the celebrities that are working in the soup lines.  Is it a publicity stunt, or do they do it year round without making headlines?  My personal favorites are the ones that have to do community service for drunken driving and then get the free publicity.  Lets not forget about all of the Turkey jokes we’ll see on the internet.  For some reason, I think a lot of them this year will have Sesame Streets Big Bird in the punch line.

After we struggle through the Thanksgiving holiday, we can look forward to being bombarded with advertising for all kinds of technology to put under the Christmas tree.  It’s a shame that most of it is so overpriced.  Do you suppose that might account for the increasing crime rate that seems to occur around the end of the year?

Once again, we get to read about the celebrities feeding the downtrodden.  At Christmas time, we seem to get more politicians manning the ladles.  I can never figure out why that is.  The elections are over for the year.  The only thing I really like about this holiday is the after holiday sales.

When I was younger, I used to really worry about meeting a drunken driver on the highway.  The holidays were a reason for extra anxiety, but thanks to technology, we don’t have to worry about getting killed by a drunk.  If you get in an accident, it will most surely be due to someone sending a text on their telephone.

I suppose by now you’re getting tired of my ranting and raving about the holidays.  I’d continue on and tell you about New Years Day, but I’ll save that for next year.

Thanks for reading and keep on clicking.

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It’s The Holidays Again! (2021-11)

July 24, 2022 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

Here they come again!  This is the time of the year when the Holiday idiots show their true colors to the rest of the world.  So many people at this time of year forget to stop and think.  Others remember to stop, but forget to think.

I’m writing this article in October, but I’ll bet I can predict the news reports we’ll get on November 1.  Some poor kid will get either razor blades or poison in their candy.  Dentist’s will buy Halloween candy by the pound.  Convenience stores will get robbed by people in their Halloween costumes.  Someone will get run over by a drunken driver.

October and November is also when tech companies make their new product announcements.  Do you think it has anything to do with the upcoming Christmas season?  So far, this years announcements have been a lot less exciting.  Apple announced a new MacBook Pro.  I noticed that they are replacing their touch bar thingy with function keys.  There is also going to be a “notch”?  Microsoft is extending their foray into the hardware business.  They didn’t do well making Windows phones.  Do you think an Android foldable phone will succeed?  Google is increasing the pressure on both software and hardware rivals.  The new Pixel phone seems to have pretty decent specifications.  I’m looking forward to using Android 12.  The only thing I can’t figure out is why, if all the big tech companies can afford to sue each other for billions of dollars, can’t they lower their prices a little.

Halloween is followed by an even scarier holiday – Thanksgiving.  If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, your spouse has never taken you out for Black Friday Shopping.  I’m a fan of good shopping deals, but not if they come at the risk of life and limb.  The Thanksgiving news stories are also the same every year.  There will be at least one customer trampled to death when the doors are opened on Friday.  Isn’t it strange that it usually happens at a Walmart?  Is it because they are the biggest retailer?  Do they have the best deals?  Could it be that their customers are less intelligent?

Other news stories for this holiday will include the celebrities that are working in the soup lines.  Is it a publicity stunt, or do they do it year around without making headlines?  My personal favorites are the people that have to do community service for drunken driving and then get the free publicity.  Let’s not forget about all of the Turkey jokes we’ll see on the internet.  For some reason, I think a lot of them this year will have either President Biden or another unnamed past President in the punch line.

After we struggle through the Thanksgiving holiday, we can look forward to being bombarded with advertising for all kinds of technology to put under the Christmas tree.  It’s a shame that most of it is so overpriced.  Do you suppose that might account for the increasing crime rate that seems to occur around the end of the year?
Once again, we get to read about the celebrities feeding the downtrodden.  At Christmas time, we seem to get more politicians manning the ladles.  I can never figure out why that is.  The elections are over for the year.  The only thing I really like about this holiday is the after holiday sales.

When I was younger, I used to really worry about meeting a drunken driver on the highway.  The holidays were a reason for extra anxiety, but thanks to technology, we don’t have to worry about getting killed by a drunk.  If you get in an accident, it will most surely be due to someone sending a text on their telephone.

I suppose by now you’re getting tired of my ranting and raving about the holidays.  I’d continue on and tell you about New Years Day, but I’ll save that for next year.

Thanks for reading and keep on clicking.

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Apps Not To Download (2021-01)

July 20, 2022 Posted by Tiny

Thoughts From a Clicker
By Tiny Ruisch

It’s that time of year again!  Did you keep all of the New Year resolutions you made a year ago?  Me neither. I think it’s because I haven’t been making the right resolutions.  This year is going to be different.  I’m going to keep all of my resolutions.  How can I be so sure?  It’s simple.  I’m going to resolve only one thing.

You’ve heard the saying that there is an app for everything?  I think it might be true.  This year, I am resolving not to download and install any of the following Android applications.

1) Ghost Detector uses your device to scan for paranormal activity and alert you when ghosts are present.  After you find a ghost, you can capture it with your camera.
2) PeeperPeeper is one of the most useless utilities I’ve seen.  It takes a picture whenever you open a messaging application.  This will supposedly give you proof that someone is reading your messages.
3) Fake Battery is supposed to help you not have to lend someone your phone.  You can tell them “Sorry, my battery is low.”
4) Poop Log is the application you need if you want to keep track of important things like size, amount, color, frequency, etc.  This is much more information than I need to know.
5) Flying Poo is a game where take the roll of a seagull and get to poo on people.
6) The Pointless Button is just pointless.
7) Nothing does nothing until it gets updated.
8) S.M.T.H. is a sports game.  You simply throw your phone in the air as high as you can.  The height is recorded, uploaded and compared with other players.  The game comes with several warnings.  My favorite is that the author is not liable for damage to your phone.
9) Idiot Squad is an application that seems to have a perfect name.

There you have it.  Nine applications that I recommend you DO NOT install.  They are all real programs available from the Google Play Store.  I didn’t check if any of them are also on iTunes.  I don’t know what amazes me more: the fact that someone writes these types of apps, or that other people actually download them.

Thanks for reading and keep on clicking.

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