March 11

Wednesday, March 11

I think this Lawrence Gold guy is right. Today I'm going to plan my vacation.

The Devil is Vastly Overrated
by Lawrence Gold

The Devil needs a long vacation.

Think about it -- you have the world's biggest job: to lead five billion people astray.

Now, just how are you going to do that? Even our mass-media moguls haven't had that kind of success - and they've got the most efficient means of leading people astray available: mass media advertising!

It's odd that we don't associate the presidents of NBC, ABC, and CBS - not to mention those of the 800-or-so cable and satellite networks - with Old Scratch. No, it's our politicians, we say, who are in league with the Devil, which is odd, since they are scarcely able to get anything done!

So we've supposedly got this creature, a fallen angel from God, who some of us say is responsible for all the misfortune in the world. How do you think he does that? Are the very atoms of the world in on his conspiracy?  What about the weather? Do the animals cooperate? Do you think the Devil spends his time attempting to lead animals astray?  Sinning animals? Hmm.
Think about the sheer magnitude of the task. One guy, billions of animals. Do you think he stops by and has devilish conversations with each of them? Think of the expression on a cow's face.  Think of your dog or cat. They are nothing, if not innocent.

So it's we, the humans! Tough luck for that old bastard, there are five billion of us! And while some people will believe anything anybody tells them, a lot of us won't listen to anybody!
koshka
Now, think of the effort he must have to go through. Have you ever convinced anybody of anything? Think of the effort you had to exert even to convince them of something that was true and good for them!  This guy is trying to convince people of things that are false and bad for them! Talk about a tough job!

Now, multiply that by five billion - roughly the human population of Earth.  That is one tough sales job! Either he is one hell of a sweet talker or we humans are amazingly gullible and stupid, like people on television sitcoms, crime dramas, soap operas. A moment's consideration reveals that no way does the Devil have the time to have one of those evil little conversations with even the tiniest fraction of humanity.

Oh, you say, he has recruits.  Perhaps that is true, but then he has another problem. As soon as they get good and broken in, they die! But let's say his recruits recruit others, little like Multi-Level Marketing. That, at least, shows some growth potential. One person recruits two people, and they, in turn, recruit two others.  Pretty soon, the Devil has a little down line!  Unfortunately, unlike MLM companies, there is no consumable product people can keep on buying! They keep having to come up with new ways to do the wrong thing! Do you think they pray?  Oh please, Devil, I can't think of anything else to do wrong! Give me some ideas!

Do you think that most people have that much initiative? Let's say that they did, what would happen next? Would the Devil show up and whisper it in their ear at night, while they were sleeping? Know anybody who's had that experience?

Let's give the Devil the benefit of the doubt and say that he does. He'd be more busy than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve!

And people say, The Devil made me do it! They're too modest! They do it all by themselves! They make it up as they go along!

So most of what people call evil has nothing to do with the Devil. In fact, the Devil is grateful to humanity. He's overworked and can use all the help he can get. He's grateful because so many people do their sinning without any help from him and charitably give him all the credit.

More than anything, the Devil needs a vacation, because after thousands of years of unrelenting work, he's tired as the devil.