This is my living room.  This is where I originally thought up the acronym "PITA".  I guess you might say that I'm the original PITA.   Of course, I have made a few mistakes.  I should never have created Automated Bank Tellers.  ATMs were originally designed to be the only nice thing I ever did.  It turns out that they just became another method for bankers to collect more fees.  Go figure.

You know what else I wish that I'd never created?  Cell phones.  Don't you hate it when you're trying to concentrate on a cute behind and someone's darned cell phone rings?  The other thing I hate about them is how people have to talk about four times as loud as normal on the things.  Oh, well!  I guess even I ain't quite perfect.

Anyway, the living room is where I sit in my easy chair and think up nice things to do.  Some of my favorites are:

• Make random telemarketing calls.  If they hang up on me, I  call right back and pretend to represent a different company;

• Give away millions of dollars via my Nigerian Prince friend;

• Think up cute screen names;

• trying to figure out why the lawyer named his daughter Susan;

• think about how I can utilize words like circumlocution, zaftig, jeremiad and polysemous;

• Sit and contemplate my tiny, little navel.

My favorite Halloween was when I was able to shut down most of the Midwest with an early in the season blizzard.  It was a lot of fun making the little trick or treating rug rats sit at home whining at Mommy and Daddy.

This is also the room where I come up with some really devilish, stupid Halloween Jokes that will make you feel really dumb for clicking on the link.