A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
Could it be that all of this Covid stuff was started by Santa Claus? I got to wondering about this the other day when I started reading news stories that the little kiddies won’t be allowed to climb up on his lap this year. After so many years of little monsters pulling his beard and peeing on him, I can see why he might do something drastic to change things.
Could it be that this isn’t the first time Santa has done some evil that has been blamed on something else. After all, who else do we know that uses red as a primary color? How do we know that those big, baggy pants aren’t really just needed to hide a tail. Same way with his hat. How do we know it isn’t just covering a couple of horns. Are there any other names that “Santa” anagrams to? Has anyone ever seen Santa and that other guy together at the same time?
Doesn’t it strike you as odd that “Covid” has the exact same number of letters that “Santa” does? Even more strange is the fact the Santa’s real name, “Kris Kringle” also has the same amount of letters as Covid’s real name, “coronavirus”. This is obviously by design.
Want more proof that Santa is the cause of this virus?
• Do an internet search and you will find thousands of articles about people who have proven that the virus isn’t real. The only people that think Santa Claus is real are young children.
• Santa relies on people to deliver gifts from person to person to spread his evilness. The virus relies on people to transfer it from person to person.
• As far as I know, the virus is neither a he or a she. I’ve seen some articles that argue that Santa might be either.
• There’s a lot about the Covid we don’t understand. The same is true for Santa.
• Santa likes both boys and girls. He doesn’t care who he infects with Christmas cheer. The virus also doesn’t care who gets infected.
• There is a lot about the coronavirus we don’t understand. There’s a lot about Santa we don’t understand.
• Many parents in their leadership roles tell their children that Santa doesn’t exist. Many politicians have done the same with Covid.
• Both Santa and the virus seem to be everywhere.
I’ve probably bored you enough. I could go on for pages about how Santa and Covid are the same. After all, Santa does have a funny looking nose that is eerily similar to the virus shape. I’m going to start working on an article proving that Santa is a woman.
Thanks for reading.