A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of the year again. This year I had planned not to be as grumpy during the holiday season as I usually am. I think it all goes back to when I was in the Navy. I was a ship’s cook and ended up working almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas for more than twenty years. Just another day in the salt mines.
My daughter and her family alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas every year with us in Lake Charles and her in-laws in Baton Rouge. This year was Thanksgiving in the capitol. My wife told me she wanted to go to Best Buy and wait for the opening so she could buy a TomTom GPS for the oldest Grandson. I got the model number they were selling and did an internet search. I found the exact same model for the same price plus free shipping. That was a line she could easily avoid. I almost forgot to tell you the name of the online merchant with the same deal. It was Best Buy.
After a delicious turkey dinner at the Cracker Barrel in Sulphur, I was busy relaxing in the computer room playing some online poker. The wife came in and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to go shopping with her. I got the hint and put on my shoes. I was off on my first ever Black Friday shopping excursion. With any luck at all, it will also be my last ever Black Friday experience.
Our first stop was at Toys R Us. We had to park in the Walmart parking lot. We got in the line which went from the door to the South side of the building. The queue made a bunch of double backs in the parking lot and then looped around the East side of the store. I estimate the line was about ten miles long. It was hard to make an adequate guess, but I know it was long. We stood in the line for about twenty minutes before the boss decided we would start at Walmart.
We got to Wally’s World about 9:30 pm. The bicycle she wanted to buy was in the Garden Center. It took about twenty minutes to get from the front door to the line for the bikes. I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think this was the only product that had an organized line to stand in and wait to make a purchase. It actually wasn’t too much of a hassle. I’m glad that was the only thing she wanted to buy. The other sale items were on pallets in the aisle. They had plastic wrapping and hand written signs telling us they were not for sale until 10:00 pm. Shoppers were clustered around the various stacks. For some reason, they reminded me of vultures waiting for something to die so they could feast. I counted at least four uniformed law officers. I’m pretty sure there were more scattered throughout the store.
After the melee at Walmart we headed over to Target for their midnight start to Black Friday. We got their about a half hour early and got in the line which stretched back to the AT&T store. Luckily for me, they still had their wireless turned on and I was able to download some reading material for my tablet. When Target opened, the line moved fairly fast. We got to enter the store about 12:30 am. I was surprised to find how organized they were. There were several employees on hand to direct the traffic in a semi-orderly direction. There wasn’t much crowding around the aisles. My wife bought a few games and I bought a tin of Altoids.
I finally understand why every year, the shootings, pepper spray, stampedes and other problems occur at Walmart and hardly ever at any of the other retailers. A little bit of organization and structure goes a long way.
When we left the store the line of people had been replaced by a line of trash along the sidewalk. Luckily for whoever had to clean it up, there was plenty of room in the trash cans outside the various store fronts. I’ve never liked litterers and they have just given me another reason to dislike the “Black Friday” hoopla.
Next year, my daughter will be here to go shopping with my wife. I think I already feel a terrible headache starting. It will probably peak on Thanksgiving Day 2013.
Thanks for reading.