A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
I’m not giving up! After all, I’ve only tried twice. In June 2013, inspired by Google Glass, I wrote an article about what I thought would make me some extra spending money. Even though I didn’t raise any money, I tried again in March 2017. This month, I’m back with some more great ideas for things everyone can use.
I still can’t believe that the “Tiny Monocle” didn’t catch on. It so outdid Google Glass. I can say the same thing about the “Tiny Belt”, but I’m still not giving up on inventing the perfect wearable. There are all kinds of smart watches, activity trackers, health care monitors, etc. You can even buy smart clothing. Technology has even invaded jewelry. You can purchase smart watches, earrings, necklaces and a ring for your fingers or toes.
I can’t believe that no one but me as thought about inventing and marketing a smart nose ring. I’ll call it the “noseTring”. My noseTring would do many of the same things that other wearable technology does, only better. Sleep tracking would be improved because the Tring would be much closer to the brain enabling better tracking of waves. The best part of wearing a noseTring is that the embedded camera would take much better pictures of people. After all, their eyes would be pointing directly at the wearer’s nose.
Another of my ideas that didn’t catch on was the “Tiny Pet Mouse Registry”. The idea was to recycle old computer mice into official pets. I would then make money by selling pet accessories. I’m pretty sure the reason it wasn’t a success is because I picked the wrong item for a pet. That’s why I’m going to introduce the “Tiny Old Phone Registry”. Instead of trying to make money selling accessories, I’ll just charge a small annual fee.
Everyone I know has an old phone or two lying around somewhere. Now they can put them to use and turn them into pet(s). Members will register their new pets by the IMEI number and upload a picture of their new pet. I’ll add it to the database and assign it a name. Of course, one of my old phones would be the first pet. My HTC TP2 would be named Tipi.
Artificial Intelligence (AI) bots are fast becoming the latest and greatest technology. They are quickly taking over the world and anticipating what we humans will do. That’s why I’m going to invent an “Artificial Stupidity System”. This system will help people decide what is the stupidest thing they can do in any situation. You might wonder why you would want to make stupid responses. The answer is simple. It will be perfect training for later years when you might be in a position of authority. Don’t many business leaders and politicians constantly do and say stupid things? Probably the best thing about my Artificial Stupidity System is that it would have a great acronym.
Don’t worry, I plan to share the millions that I will undoubtedly make from these ideas. Thanks for reading.