Posts Tagged: ‘Humor’

Dumb Predictions? – Originally Published January 2017

January 11, 2017 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Happy New Year!  It’s that time again for everyone to make their annual predictions about what will happen in the future.  Not me.  You all should know by now how I am usually a little different.  After all, people with much more intelligence than me can probably predict the future with much more accuracy than I could ever hope to achieve.

For instance, the following prediction: “There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable.  It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.”  This prediction was made in 1932 by none other than Albert Einstein.

Is there anyone who hadn’t heard about Steve Jobs predictions on a stylus pen, smaller tablets and larger phones?  That puts him in the same league as Thomas Watson, IBM chairman in 1943, when he said there was a world market for maybe five computers.  IBM predictions improved in 1959 when they told Xerox that the world potential for copying machines was about 5000.

There are many other examples of brilliant people making the same types of accurate predictions.   In 2005 Steve Chen, the co-founder of YouTube claimed that the platform couldn’t survive.  He said, “There’s just not that many videos that people want to watch.”  A year earlier, Bill Gates predicted that SPAM e-mail would be solved within two years.  He also stated that his company, Microsoft, would never make a 32 bit operating system.

I could go on and on for pages about other people who made tech predictions that didn’t quite come true.  How about these other predictions?:
1) Subsidized cell phones will continue to decline and maybe even join floppy disks in the “I remember when” category.
2) Smart watches pass out of the what is it good for stage and replace cell phones the same way that automobiles replaced the horse and buggy.
3) Windows 7 will hang on as long as XP did.
4) Apple will invent wireless charging.
5) 3D television will make a comeback.
In case you might be interested, those are all predictions that I made in my January 2016 column.  You can see that my accuracy isn’t any worse (or better).  I’ll only make one prediction for this year: 2017 will bring some great computer club meetings, a lot of information on the club’s web site and some excellent monthly trips to Texas.

Thanks for reading.

Sometimes I Wonder – Originally Published October 2016

October 4, 2016 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Sometimes I have a hard time deciding what to write about in this monthly column.  There are so many things that I wonder about.  Many of them are big enough that I can write a whole page on the subject.  Others are so minute that I occasionally need to write a potpourri column like this month.

As I write this, the iPhone 7 is about to be released.  I long ago quit wondering why people would sit in a line outside the Apple Store for weeks to buy a phone.  This time I’m wondering about the missing headphone jack.  Personally, I think that is really the future.  I hardly ever plug into the jack on my phones.  I’ve used the one on my current phone twice.  Once when I first bought the thing to make sure it worked.  I also used it one time when I forgot to charge my Bluetooth headset.  The thing I’m curious about is what the new iPhone owners will do when they fly on an airplane.  Bluetooth isn’t allowed on many airlines because of interference with the aircraft’s navigation equipment.  I’ve got a feeling that the rules will soon be changed.

Sometimes I wonder if I should buy a dedicated e-reader.  I must admit that I was pretty envious when Tom showed off his new Koby.  Every time I think I’m about to pull the plug, I realize that my tablet(s) are really sufficient for my reading needs.  I’m at the point where I’ve got so many of them that they’re scattered around my house like bread crumbs from an old sandwich.  I’ve even got my first tablet, an Archos 70.  I got it back in 2011.  I use it for videos and reading.  Someday it will probably be just another picture frame.  Soon, I’ll be wondering if I should buy the new Nexus 7 that is supposed to be released in October.  It probably will depend on the price.

Almost every morning when I open my Facebook account, I wonder why I don’t just close the darn thing.  Then all of a sudden, among the obviously false political claims and impossible to believe factoids, I see some information about a relative, make a silly comment and log out.  Thankfully, I’ve avoided all other social media.  You can’t Twit me a Snapchat or Google+ me an Instagram.

Sometimes I wonder how long it will be before there isn’t any disk drives at all in our computers.  Long gone are the days of having stacks of floppy disks sitting alongside our machines.  After they disappeared, CD drives soon followed.  Hard drives are slowly giving way to solid state drives.  Someday in the future, all of our computers will have their operating system stored in flash memory.  Every thing else will be stored on remote servers.  I’ll be long gone, but the hobbyists of the future will be the only one that use local storage.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wondered if the major Operating System manufactures will ever play nice with each other?  The main reason I don’t buy any Apple Products is that they don’t play nice with my other technology.  Long ago, I quit using Microsoft Outlook because it was too difficult to synchronize with Android.  Unfortunately, it is getting worse instead of better.  Have you ever tried to video chat with an Apple product with Android, or vice versa?

Over the years, I’ve wondered about lots of little things.  For instance, why does Windows always make you click on start to shut down the computer.  I wonder if I will ever get all the old newsletters scanned and uploaded.  I wonder if I’ll get a good gift at the club’s Christmas exchange.  I wonder if people like the monthly Mindbender puzzles.

One last thing I wonder about.  Should I end this article?

Thanks for reading.

Apple’s iOS 10 Claims – Originally Published September 2016

September 4, 2016 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

“San Francisco — June 13, 2016 — Apple today previewed iOS 10, the biggest release ever of the world’s most advanced mobile operating system.”  That is a direct quote copied from the Apple website announcing the release of their new operating system, iOS 10.  According to the company and many of the fans web sites, this is the greatest thing since the invention of Hostess Twinkies.  I’ve been griping about Microsoft and Windows 10 so much that I thought I should point my keyboard in a different direction for a change.  Let’s review the latest claims.

Siri, iMessage, and Maps Open to Developers.  This might be the single biggest change that Apple has ever made.  They have opened up some of their apps to third party developers.  Siri can even reserve an Uber car.  I think this is the biggest change that I have seen Apple do.  Third party development is one of the reasons that so many of their competitors products have outpaced them in usefulness.  Of course, this also means there will be an increase in personal data collection.  It will be interesting to see how Apple handles that.

The Maps app is getting a boost with Map layers, smarter and proactive assistance as well.  The Maps also supports extensions.  It can help you throughout your day by offering the fastest routes by following all the traffic around you and suggesting places nearby.  It can also make reservations.  I guess they are finally recovering from the dumb mistake made in 2012 when iOS 6 dropped Google Maps.  Maybe they will finally catch up in another four or five years.

The iMessage app has been enhanced.  It supports live GIF and video playback right within the app.  You now get quick access to your photos and live camera feed without leaving the app.  The Emojis are now three times bigger and you can replace words with Emojis by just tapping on them.  The Bubble Effects different personalty to your messages.  The app now supports handwritten messages, digital touch and tickers.  With the app open to developers, I’m sure there will be no end to the innovation.

Photos & QuickType Become More Intelligent.  Apple has ramped up the capabilities of the Photos app with a feature it calls advanced computer vision.  The Photos app recognizes what’s in your photos and automatically groups them into categories, creating albums of similar photos.  Additionally, the app has a new feature in the Memories tab that not only uses the artificial intelligence of Photos to bring together images and movies according to events and places, but will automatically create a video montage of select photos and video clips with music, titles, and transitions.  You would think that is something Google would have thought of first.

Home App Controls HomeKit Devices.  The new iOS 10 comes with a new app which lets you control all your HomeKit accessories.  You’ll also be able to create and control scenes and use Siri to interact with them.  Depending on the accessories you have, from your iPhone you can control lamps, bulbs, doors and locks, cameras, air conditioners, fans, outlets, humidifiers, doorbells and many others.  I’m not qualified to comment on this as the only smart equipment in my house is me and I haven’t been electronically modified yet.

Apple has also redesigned or updated the lock screen, Apple Music, Apple News, the quicktype keyboard, the control center and other things.  I believe that the company is in dire need of some more “new and exciting” releases, especially in their hardware.

The MacRumors Buyer’s Guide has nicely summarized things.  The iOS Devices Page recommends “don’t buy” on four of seven items, the Macs Page a “don’t buy” on six of seven items and the Other Devices Page a “don’t buy” on one of three items.  Of the seventeen products, they recommend “buy now” on only one.  Almost all of the “don’t buy” recommendations are due to the fact that there haven’t been updates in several years.

I guess I’ll never understand how Apple can be so revered by consumers and only have around ten percent of market share while Microsoft is usually reviled while retaining about ninety percent of the market.  Sometimes they kind of remind me of our political parties.

Thanks for reading.

Wondering About Windows 10 – Originally Published July 2016

July 3, 2016 Posted by Tiny

Wondering About Windows 10
by Tiny Ruisch

I’ve been wondering!  As we get closer to July 29, there are so many things that might happen with the Windows 10 operating system.  The free upgrade will soon be coming to an end and I’m sure there will be more changes in the way Microsoft does business.  Here are some of my predictions.  Just like for the New Year, they probably won’t be too accurate.  It’s still fun to make them.

I think that Microsoft will magnanimously have a change of heart and continue to offer free upgrades to Windows 10.  Of course, if I’m right that also means that those of us choosing not to upgrade our operating systems will probably continue to receive pop up advertisements and other spam from Microsoft.  Another possibility is that instead of a free upgrade, there will be a heavily discounted price on upgrading.

I also predict that those of us who upgraded for free will finally have to start paying for the free by enduring more advertising.  Personally, I can live with this as long as they don’t get as nauseating as the “upgrade to Windows 10” campaign was.  In fairness, I should mention that Google seems to be sending me more ads on my Android phone.

One thing I am pretty sure will happen is that we will start seeing lots of rumors on various tech sites, news organizations and of course, Facebook.  I can see them in my mind.
1) Microsoft will start charging an annual subscription fee will probably be one.  That may eventually happen, but I don’t think it will on machines that were updated within the free time period.
2) Don’t take your laptop into the bathroom because Microsoft will be turning on the camera to check what brand of toilet paper you use.
3) They have also installed a key logger with the latest update.
4) Microsoft will start making Windows 7 updates more inconvenient to obtain.  I can imagine slower downloads so that you will want to upgrade for more speed.
I’m sure there will be many other rumors.

Do you think that Microsoft will continue to be as aggressive with updating as they have been the first year?  Security updates and new builds have been installing fairly frequently in the first year.  This has been one of their stated reasons for upgrading.  I wonder if the fast pace will continue after the grace period ends or will they revert to a massive monthly update on the first Tuesday?

I hope I’m wrong, but I’m going to make a prediction that Microsoft will do some nasty things in their future “mandatory” updates.  For instance, if they think that your favorite anti-virus software isn’t compatible with the operating system, they could just uninstall it.  By the way, don’t plan on installing any “unauthorized” hardware on your system.  You’ve agreed to let them do this if they want to.

There is only one thing that I don’t have to wonder about.  After July 29, we will find out what the cost of free is.  There will also be a lot of customer complaints that they wanted to upgrade to Windows 10 but weren’t able to.

Isn’t wondering fun?

Over Datified – Originally Published May 2016

May 8, 2016 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Tell the truth now!  How many pictures do you have on your disk drive?  When was the last time you actually looked at most of them?  How many files do you have in your documents (and other) folders that you haven’t opened in the last year?  How many USB Flash Drives do you have filled with stuff you don’t ever use?

In this short article, I’m not going to tell you how to clean up those messes.  I’m just going to tell you why I think we are getting “over‑datafied”.  No you won’t find “over-datified” in the dictionary.  I made it up, but maybe it should be!

In this modern day and age, we are constantly being tracked.  Information about our habits are being stored on web servers everywhere.  Law enforcement agencies, business and many other organizations keep track of where we are, what we do and what we buy.  We hear almost daily about the potential harm that may befall us because of all the data mining.  For the most part, I don’t think that really happens very much.

What does happen is the data is often used to better our lives.  Isn’t it nice to just say, “OK Google” and almost immediately find out anything you might want to know.  I personally like it when my pocket computer beeps and tells me that it is time to leave if I don’t want to be late for a club meeting.  I like the fact that the library program suggests books that I might enjoy to reading.  In fact, that is how data mining is supposed to work.  We share information about ourselves and that information is used to make our lives better.

The problem is that I think we are getting to the point where there is just too much data.  There are thousands of apps you can download to your phone that access many data bases.  Do we really need to know where all the bathrooms within fifty miles are?  Is it necessary to keep track of how much coffee is left in the pot?

You can search the WWW and find a database for anything and everything.  We’re definitely “over‑datafied” when we can find out that women blink more than men, that Americans eat more than 100 acres of pizza every day, Vermont has more cows than people or that ingrown toenails are hereditary.

You can’t get through the day without being inundated with useless data.  Just listen to the nightly news.  Twenty-eight percent of the stories have a percentage fact in the story.  Oh well!  I guess there is nothing we can do about being “over‑datafied”.  Now you’ll have to excuse me while I edit the data charts for next months newsletter.

Thanks for reading.

Cruising 2016

January 20, 2016 Posted by Tiny

I’ve been cruising with the Mrs. again.  We usually do two or three a year.  I inevitably write a short article on my observations on how technology is used by both the cruise lines and the passengers reading their books.  This year, I initially started to write about how large screen cell phones really seemed to be more prevalent and how quite a few people had signed up for the ships satellite internet plan.  That all changed because of my shy, introverted personality.

Over a cup of coffee, I got to talking to a gentleman.  He mentioned that this was his eighty-second cruise.   I told him how much I liked to cruise but that it was unfortunately out of my budget to do that many.  He then related to me how he could do it only because of sheer luck.  It turns out that about ten years ago, he got an e-mail from a wealthy foreigner from Nigeria.  It seems that a new government had taken power and tied up all of his funds.  The only way he could reclaim them was to transfer them overseas.  The fellow I met simply had to provide an active banking account for the funds to be transferred to. He also had to initially send a few thousand dollars to bribe some dishonest officials.  For providing the service, he received several million dollars.

Just a few days later, I met a surgeon that told me the strangest tale.  It seems that he was on a cruise that pulled into port.  He had to cancel the remainder of his vacation and immediately fly back home.  It turns out that there was a little girl that needed a life saving operation.  He had agreed to do it provided she could get only ten thousand “likes” on her Facebook page.  The doctor told me that the only reason he had agreed to do it in the first place is because he was sure the child would never get enough responses.  He was true to his word and flew back early to save a life.

One day, in one of the shipboard bars, I told the stories of the millionaire and the doctor to a young lady.  I was pretty sure she would think I was a liar, but then she told me how her belief in people was the cause of her good fortune.  It seems a person on Facebook had bought a Powerball ticket and agreed to share the winnings with fifty random people.  She wouldn’t tell me how much she got, but it sounded like it might have been several thousands of dollars.

I guess I’m just not very lucky.  There was another passenger who had one of the latest iPad tablets.  It seems that there was some minor flooding in a warehouse where thousands of them were stored.  Even though they weren’t damaged, they couldn’t be sold as new.  They were being given away as a promotion.  Like I said, sometimes it is just a matter of luck.

I met another millionaire who became one simply by winning the Irish lottery.  All he had to do was spend a few hundred dollars to pay for taxes and processing.  The funny part was when he told me that he didn’t even remember entering the sweepstakes.

Of course, the more people I talked to, the more it seemed that everyone was much more fortunate than me.   Then I met a fellow cruiser that made his money the old fashioned way, He earned it through plain, hard work.  He started his own home business by stuffing envelopes for various countries.  He used his profits and bought some equipment and was soon processing credit card transactions for some major companies.  A few years later, he expanded his home business into the insurance claims business.

After two weeks, I didn’t think there were any other ways to make a lot of money.  Then I met a man who was in the merchandise resale business.  He went to various auction websites and bid on various items.  He would often get new computers for as little as five dollars or a big screen television for a little more.  He would then take these items and resell them on eBay or Craigs List for an astronomical profit.

Naturally, I checked on many of these profit generating plans and realized that they just wouldn’t work for me because I haven’t been lucky enough to get in on the ground floor.  If anyone has any ideas on how I can finance my next cruise, please let me know.  If you don’t have any ideas, you can just simply send me a dollar instead.  Make sure you forward this article to everyone you know.  You can also feel free to Tweet the link or post it on your Facebook time line.  When you do, make sure to emphasis the fact that they only have to donate one measly dollar to me.  For less than the cost of a cup of coffee, they will not only finance my next cruise, but they can learn the latest methods for becoming a multimillionaire.  If it works, I might not even have to build a new pyramid.

Things I’ve Unlearned – Originally Published October 2015

October 11, 2015 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Recently, I was reading an article in “Astronomy Magazine” about the Pluto New Horizons mission.  There was a section on why it was downgraded from planetary status.  Now I’ve got to unlearn some things about the place.  Like so many other things, that got me to thinking about how I’ve had to forget or change my thinking on many other subjects.

For years I’ve saved all my files with an eight character file name.  Back in the DOS and early Windows days, file names were limited to eight characters and three more for the extension.  You had to be creative in naming files so you could remember what they were.  Over the years, most file systems have allowed us to use up to 256 characters.  I finally unlearned using non-descriptive file names.  I still haven’t unlearned that it’s not okay to use a space in a file name.

I’ve had to unlearn a lot of terms over the years.  Sometimes, I still find myself saying, “dial the phone”, even though my pocket computer doesn’t have a dial on it.  Unlike my wife, I’ve finally quit saying “tape a TV show.”  There isn’t any tape in the VCR.  Oops!  I meant DVR.  Many others like myself still, “film a movie”, “roll down the car window”, “blow off steam” and make a “carbon copy.”  People that haven’t unlearned this stuff should “hold their horses” before they start sounding like a “broken record”.

There is a lot of things I haven’t minded unlearning.  It is so much easier to double click an icon to start a program on my computer.  Long gone are the days of having to type “load program name,8,1”.  There were many times I sat and waited for a program to load.  I would finally realize that I had forgotten to hit the return key.

I also don’t mind having to remember to make sure there is enough room on the VHS cassette tape before recording the latest Star Trek program.  The same goes for setting the clock on the machine.

I’ve also have many non-technological things to unlearn.  Before I pour a glass of milk, I still shake the container even though there isn’t any cream to mix in.  I still let the water run before filling my glass.  I don’t want to get a spider in my glass.

About the only thing I’ve found worse than having to unlearn something is the things I’ve had to relearn.  I’ve been teaching the grandson how to code a web page.  Unfortunately, I’ve had to look up some commands that I used to write without even thinking.  One of the problems with programming languages is there are so many of them.

Isn’t technology great? I wonder what I’ll have to unlearn in the future.
Thanks for reading.

Self Driving Cars – Originally Published May 2015

May 24, 2015 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

This month, I’ve been thinking about self driving cars. Every day it looks more and more like we soon will all be riding in one. I just hope the built in GPS will take me where I actually want to go and not a block or two away. In my mind I imagine future car advertisements that induce me to buy their model because it won’t accidentally drive me off of a cliff.

If you do an internet search, you will find all kinds of articles either telling you how great or how bad the technology is. (Doesn’t that sound like you could researching any article about technology?) You can catch a few extra winks on the way to work or you won’t have any control in case an accident is eminent.

Personally, I’m not concerned with any of those mundane arguments. I find myself concerned with other things that might happen.

Just think of all the state highway patrol troopers that could lose their jobs. With self driving cars, accidents will be avoided. With fewer accidents to investigate, less patrol officers will be needed. What will happen to them? They won’t be able to become truck drivers. The trucks will be driving themselves.

The same scenario happens to the Department of Motor Vehicles. Why would a driver’s license be needed? Doesn’t it seem that when you buy a self driving car, the title would include the right to control the vehicle? Do you suppose all of the DMV employees will be relocated to pet licensing?

I can think of several small towns that might go out of existence. Autonomous cars will automatically go the speed limit. The speed trap towns would lose their major source of revenue. Perhaps they will have to start making traffic stops for other reasons. The officer will say, “the reason I pulled you over is because your rear window is dirty.”

It’s long past my time but I sure wish I could have had a programmable car back in the “Can I borrow the car tonight Dad?” era. It sure would have been nice to know where the car was and what time it was going to get home. When the self driving car becomes the norm, do you suppose the youngsters will be asking, “Dad, can I borrow the password for the car tonight?”

Once self driving cars become readily available, I can foresee people buying customized vehicles. Can you imagine your car as a mobile game room? You could have your game console hooked up to a medium sized monitor and play the latest edition of “Grand Theft Auto”. The workaholic could have a desk in the front seat and a secretarial station in the rear. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could sit and relax in your auto spa while your car did the driving? Personally, I’m going to save my money and buy a specially created bathroom car. I do some of my best thinking in the facilities. Just think how many articles I could be writing while on the road.

It’s not a problem for me, but I know lots of people that will be happy that there will be no need for a “back seat driver”. Those people will have to start criticizing the computer programmers. Maybe they’ll have to settle for criticizing the GPS system.

There is one thing that will definitely not change when our cars drive themselves. The monthly car payments will keep our wallet empty.

Thanks for reading.

Christmas Gifts – Originally Published December 2014

December 7, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

It’s that time of year again. Santa Claus is coming to town. Every year, my daughter asks what I want for a gift. Every year, I tell her that I have everything I need. I’ve never been one to wait for a special holiday or a birthday. If I want something and the price is right, I buy it.  That said, I’m going to share with you my list of things that would be nice to have.  Of course, it’s all stuff that I don’t need, can’t afford or would probably only use one time.  You can feel free to give me anything on this list.

Solid state drives are all the rage this year.  They are speedy and use less power.  Is bigger better?  I don’t know but as I write this, a 4 TB OCZ drive is on sale for $665.27 off.  That brings the price down to a reasonable $7499.73.  Free shipping is included to make the deal even sweeter.

I guess if you wanted an off brand tablet, this 10 inch model has decent specifications.  I’m a little leery of buying something that doesn’t specify the operating system version.  Then again, it must be great.  It’s the KomandoTab.  For your money, you not only get the machine, but a years membership in Kim’s Club.  Best of all, it includes an autographed picture.  I’d like to see Apple top that deal.

Every time Woody demonstrates his quad-copter, I say to myself that I should get one.  Maybe Santa will bring me the Walkera Scout X4.  For your money, you get a drone that can convert from four blades to eight.  My favorite feature is that you can set the GPS to “follow me”.  I can see me slipping the control into someones pocket and watch them wonder why they are being followed by a drone.

Why settle for a lousy picture from your cell phone?  This Hasselblad H5D-60 Medium Format DSLR Camera will take digital pictures with 60 megapixel resolution.  I’m surprised that the $66,000 selling price doesn’t include a SD card.  At least the shipping is free.

It would sure be nice to replace all of my monitors with this 84 inch Planar UltraRes LED monitor.  Only problem is that I’m not sure my floor can support the 24,000 pound weight.  Oh yeah, the $30,000 price tag is a little bit of a drawback too.

This Bluetooth Toothbrush has more calculating power than the Apollo 12 guidance system.  If I get this, I’ll be looking for a Bluetooth toilet cleaning brush to complete my bathroom ensemble.

Wearable technology has been in the news all year.  You can buy eyeglasses, watches, heart monitors, jackets that recharge your electronics and many other new items.  Never again will I lose a remote controller if I get this remote headband for Christmas.

I’m not sure what Santa will bring me this year, but I don’t think that it will be any of this stuff.  That’s all of my thoughts for December.  My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

Turkey Technology – Originally Published November 2014

November 10, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

It’s November again, the time of the year when we gather to feast on a large gallinaceous bird, Meleagris gallopavo, of North America, having a bare wattled head and neck and a brownish iridescent plumage.  This would probably be a good month to talk some turkey.  To be more specific, I’m going to talk turkey from the slang section of the dictionary.  Not a stupid, incompetent or unappealing person, but a thing that fails.  This month is about technological turkeys.

The Affordable Care Act brought us the Health Care Website, which was such a big initial failure that it was the target of joke on every late night show.  My personal observation is that this was just one of many medical websites that are lacking.  For example, the portal for my doctor’s medical group will only allow me to request prescription refills from certain pharmacies, many of which aren’t in Lake Charles.  This is just lousy website design.  They wonder why more patients don’t use it.  The website where I actually get my medications from is down more than it is operating.  I’ve found it’s easier to just make a telephone call.  Then there was the time I had to get three blood tests in one day because the medical community couldn’t share the results.  I’m just happy that the doctors and nurses seem to be programmed much better than their computers.

The Google Nexus Q was announced in June 2012 and officially dropped in October of the same year.  I think David Pogue described the Nexus Q perfectly when he said, “I can think of only one class of customer who should consider buying the black Nexus Q sphere: people whose living rooms are dominated by bowling-ball collections.”

Does anyone remember the Iomega Zip Drive?  The problem was that thousands of them didn’t work.  You could hear the drive head clicking as it destroyed the data on your disk.  Rather than acknowledge and fix the problem, Iomega chose to ignore it until there was a class action suit.

In July of 2011, the HP TouchPad was an eagerly awaited tablet that was going to rejuvenate HP’s WebOS operating system.   The machine was buggy, slow and had hardly any apps.  In less than three months, it was history.

Whatever happened to the virtual optical keyboard?  This was a holographic keyboard that could be projected on almost any surface.  It was supposed to be the end of clunky computer keyboards.  I’m not sure, but I think the plans were accidentally rolled up in one of those flexible keyboards and thrown out in the trash.

The only good thing about Windows Millennium was that it had a cool name.  As an operating system, it was a real dud.  When the PadBot debuted, it was going to revolutionize the world as we know it.  All you had to do was attach your iPad and the machine would be “you”.  You could send it almost anywhere and view, converse and interact with people.  This device was so popular that I don’t know anyone that has ever seen one.

The Zune MP3 player was going to be Microsoft’s iPod killer.  It had a few problems.  It was ugly, expensive and had inferior sound.  Not only did it not put a dent in iPod sales, it didn’t manage to gain market share over any of its rivals.

There are many other turkeys.  I could talk about things like the Segway, Sony Betamax, Windows Phone 7, Apple Lisa and the wearable computer to name a few.  I think I’ll wait to write about them after I get my microchip implanted.

It may not be an official technological turkey yet, but I think the Amazon Fire Phone will soon be one.  Originally priced at $199 with a two year contract, the Fire Phone was reduced to 99 cents less than two months after release.  Although it has some impressive specs, consumers don’t seem to want Amazon’s forked Android system on their phone.  Even on the Amazon website, the phone only gets 2.2 stars.  Many of the reviews that are five stars are because of the year of Amazon prime that is bundled with the machine.

That’s all of my thoughts for November.  My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.