Posts Tagged: ‘Ranting’

Facebook – The Modern Tabloid – Originally Published June 2015

June 5, 2015 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

You may think that using Facebook is free, but it isn’t.  Facebook is a business, and in business to do just one thing – make money.  You pay by giving personal information which you agreed to when you created an account.  The only way to not do this is to close your account. All your previous postings will remain forever.

You’ve just read one of my many “copy and paste’ responses that I sometimes post on Facebook.  My Facebook usage is usually about ten to twenty minutes each morning.  My friends list is mostly relatives and a few long time Yankee friends.  Some of them spend hours everyday re-posting many rumors on their time line.  I’d guess that at least sixty percent of my posts are links to Snopes articles that tell the truth.

It seems to me that Facebook has replaced some of our previous institutions.  You hear something about Facebook nearly every day.  When was the last time you heard about the “National Enquirer”, “Weekly World News”, “The Weekly Gazette”, “Star Magazine” or any of the other tabloid magazines.

On your weekly grocery shopping trip, you could find out where Elvis was.  If you didn’t believe that Elvis was still alive, you could always read about the latest sighting of an alien.

Facebook has become the tabloid of the new millennium.  Now I can read the latest news about how our president isn’t a citizen.  Although I haven’t noticed any Elvis sightings on the service, there have been a lot of reports of celebrities that were killed by a crazed gunman, died of an obscure disease or were obliterated in a highway wreck.

You don’t need to read your weekly tabloid anymore if you want to get rich by filling envelopes or answering calls for various companies.  Facebook has made it even easier for you.

There are so many people like Bill Gates that are giving away millions of dollars that I think they may put Nigerian princes out of business.  Apple has found so many warehouses full of unsold tablets to give away that I find it hard to believe they even sell any.  One of these days, I know I’ll get lucky and be one of the first hundred people to like the post that is giving away a free car.

Luckily, I can do the same thing on Facebook that I do with the tabloid magazines.  I just read the headlines and ignore the articles.

Thanks for reading.

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Medical Technology

October 16, 2014 Posted by Tiny

Medical Technology
By Tiny Ruisch

Unfortunately, I recently got to experience some modern medical technology up close and personal.  I’ve made a few random observations.

On a Saturday morning, I had some severe urinary problems and went to the emergency room at Christus hospital.  I deliberately picked Christus because that is the one my family doctor is affiliated with.  They are all on the same computer network and it should be easy for him to get copies of all the reports.  Guess again.

Of course, the first thing the emergency room did was take a bunch of blood for testing.  I explained that I had just completed my annual blood work that week.  I suppose those reports weren’t fresh enough.  After all, they were three days old.  Oh well. I was in way too much pain to try and reason with them.  They gave me some medications and sent me home with instructions to call if I wasn’t better the next day.

On Sunday, I disregarded the instructions.  I was in so much pain that I didn’t call.  My wife and daughter took me back to the emergency room.  If you guessed that I needed more blood tests, you’re a good guesser.  I asked if they thought my blood counts had really changed in the last 24 hours.  The answer was no, but rules are rules.  Luckily, I have a lot of veins in my body.

After a really painful day, I learned an important lesson about medical equipment.  Catheter should really be spelled with four letters.

My urologist scheduled me for surgery at the Lake Area Medical Center.  They have a real nifty system there.  Before being admitted for surgery, you have to spend a day doing all the pre-admission stuff.  Of course, this included another blood donation.  I was beginning to wonder if I kept failing the test.  I’ll bet the nurses said, “Keep sticking a needle in him until he gets it right!”

I also had the pleasure of another MRI to duplicate the one the emergency room people did.  I was beginning to see why health care costs are so high.  I also got an EKG.  That made me feel special since it was the only one.

I finally finished all of my tests and got all of my admission papers signed and copied.  I’ve seen plenty of long, complicated computer software EULAs.  They were nothing compared to the 28 pages it took to explain all of the rights and responsibilities etc. for both the hospital and myself.  I like to read anything I sign, so it took me quite a while.  I hope I didn’t need a lawyer.

Finally, the big day arrived.  The first thing I had to do was sign the admission papers.  There were 28 pages of them.  Page for page they were exactly the same as I had just signed a few days earlier.  Only the dates were changed.  I guess that was probably to protect the innocent.

I finally got to my room.  The nurse came in and started to prep me for surgery.  The first thing she asked me was what I was there for.  I chuckled, told her and commented that I was sure nobody else wanted to go through my procedure.  She got me dressed in a technological advanced gown.  It was a simple, light weight and opened in the back.  I suppose that was for easy access to the bathroom.  She started my intravenous tube.  She also outfitted me with a pair of compression socks and an air pump to keep the blood circulating in my legs.

A little later, the operating room nurse came in to brief me.  The first thing she asked me was what I was there for.  She then told me what to expect when I got into the operating room.  She told me the anesthesiologist would soon come by to talk to me.

Sure enough, about 15 minutes later, there she was.  The first thing the anesthesiologist asked me was what I was there for.  I said I was starting to get a little concerned because everyone asked me the same thing.  She told me that they all asked me to avoid confusion and to make sure they were talking to the correct patient.  I immediately double checked my plastic wrist bracelet.  My name was still correct on it.

Finally, my urologist came in to tell me I was next in line and he’d be ready in about 20 minutes.  I was sure glad he didn’t ask me what I was there for.

When I woke up in my hospital room, I was hooked up to several monitors.  One measured the oxygen content in my blood.  Almost every time I fell asleep, my oxygen level fell and a piercing alarm would sound.  It made for a pretty miserable night.

I’d have to say that modern medical technology didn’t do much to give me a smooth, tranquil experience.  All I noticed was a lot of redundancy.  Then again, I’m pretty sure I’ve been cured.

My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

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National Do Not Call Registry – Originally Published April 2014

September 15, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Does anyone remember the Perry Mason television show that aired back in the 1950’s and 60’s?  Perry was a lawyer that had an extra phone line installed in his office.  The only people that had this second telephone number was his secretary and a private detective.  That way, whenever the phone rang, Perry knew it was important and would answer it immediately.

Here we are, sixty years later.  Almost everyone has a telephone they can carry with them wherever they go.  Isn’t technology great?  Now we can get a call almost everywhere we are.  Gone are the days of running to the telephone from the other side of the house, picking it up and hearing a dial tone.

Hardly anyone has to miss a call anymore.  You can answer it in the mall, behind the steering wheel, walking down the street or sitting on your throne.  How wonderful!

Unfortunately, behind every silver lining, there is a cloud.  It is so easy for telemarketers to program their computers to call you and everyone else that has a phone number.  Don’t you just love all of those interruptions?  Me neither.  I sure wish the government would save us.

Wait a minute!  I nearly forgot!  The government is already protecting us from unwanted calls.  On March 11, 2003, President George W. Bush signed into law the Do Not Call Implementation Act.  The law established the FTC’s National Do Not Call Registry in order to facilitate compliance with the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1991.  This law is working so good that compliance complaints have increased every year except one.  You would think that complaints would decrease until unwanted calls are a thing of the past.

Could it be that people are complaining because of the law’s exemptions?  A person may still receive calls from political organizations.  Luckily for me, I don’t get any of those types of calls.

A person may still receive calls from not for profit organizations.  Once again, I’ve been lucky.  I don’t get any of those types of calls.

A person may still receive calls from companies with which he or she has an existing business relationship for up to eighteen months after their last purchase, payment or delivery from it.  I can’t believe how my luck is holding.  I don’t get any of those types of calls either.

My personal favorite exemption is that a person may still receive calls from companies conducting surveys.  Turns out that some of these companies call with a survey and then ask for permission to make a follow up call.  The follow up is an attempt to sell you something.  Guess what?  My luck is still holding.  I haven’t gotten any survey calls.

Even though I have never registered for the Do Not Call list, I expect that my luck will continue to be pretty good.  I don’t really care who has my phone number.  If I receive a call from a number that isn’t in my address book, it goes straight to my voice mail.  When my phone actually rings, I know that it is a call I probably want to answer.  Just like Perry Mason, I don’t get calls from unwanted people.

That’s all of my thoughts for April.  My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

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Password Grievances – Originally Published March 2014

September 7, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Dashlane, a password manager program, recently released a report assessing the password policies of the top 100 e-commerce sellers in the United States.  They examined 24 different criteria identified as important to online security.  Each company could receive a score between plus 100 and minus 100.

Interestingly, the most secure site was Apple.  In spot number five was Target.  Lately, they have had a few other “security” problems.  The bottom spot was graced by MLB (Major League Baseball).  Near the bottom, with a score of -40, was Amazon.  Do you know anyone who has purchased from them?

I’m not going to bore you with the details of which websites were good or bad.  If you’re interested, you can read Dashlane’s blog by clicking on the link.  If you would like to see the full report, click here.

One of the things the report highlighted for me was how widespread are some of the things I really hate about online passwords.  Why do these sites even let you create the passwords monkey, danger, 123456, 0000, etc.?  It just demonstrates that they don’t really care about security.

Another thing that makes no sense is having those little asterisks show when you are typing in your passwords.  It had some usefulness in the 1990’s, but it doesn’t in 2014.  I have noticed that a few web sites do have a “show password” button.  Want to really test what a company thinks about password security?  Click on the “I forgot my password” button.  A lot of them will go through a lot of rigamarole.  Your password is so important to them that you have to know some silly fact like the breed of your first dog or what brand of diapers you used as a child.  They then proceed to e-mail your password in plain text.

As you may or may not know, I use a password manager.  I like to generate and use big complicated passwords like |%;,0w4>\rN@aJvrh>7;,?-:T”A8rBbyxWqmk}oh.  Unfortunately, many web sites won’t accept that password.  Many places limit the number of characters in the password, some as few as twelve.  Other sites won’t allow all of the special characters.

I think that there is such a thing as too much security.  One of the sites that I want to remain really secure is my military retirement pay.  It used to be that when you typed in your password, they required that you use an on screen keyboard.  Copy and paste wasn’t allowed.  It was a really pain in the rear of my left foot to correctly enter the password.  To make it even worse, there was a time out.  If you didn’t complete your entry in 15 seconds (I think it was), you had to start over.

They have since changed their password policies.  I think that all on line banking sites should be as good.  The on screen keyboard is still there but it is optional.  You are required to change your password every 60 days.  Here is a complete set of password rules:
The Password must:
be 15 to 30 characters in length
contain at least two UPPERCASE letters (A-Z)
contain at least two lowercase letters(a-z)
contain at least two numbers (0-9)
contain at least two of the following special characters: # @ $ ^ ! * + = _ %
change at least four characters from the previous password.
The PASSWORD CANNOT:
contain spaces
be one of your last 10 previous passwords

That’s all of my thoughts for March.  My mind is empty again.

Thanks for reading.

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Bah! Humbug! – Originally Published December 2012

August 4, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Bah!  Humbug!
It’s that time of the year again.  The retailers want us to spend all of our hard earned nickels on lots of things that we don’t really need.  My daughter always tells me that it is hard to buy me a Christmas present because I don’t need anything.  I tell her that makes it easier.  Don’t buy me anything.  It never works that way though, but it’s alright.  I can always use socks and t‑shirts (if they’ve got a pocket).

Bah!  Humbug!
About the only difference in the holiday season every year is that it usually seems to start earlier and earlier.  This year, I saw my first Christmas display on labor day.  Newegg started advertising Black Friday deals sometime during the first part of November.  Black Friday is now Black Thursday.  You’d at least think they could change it to Fifty Shades of Grey Thursday.  I’m expecting the 2013 season to start around the Fourth of July.

Bah!  Humbug!
During the holiday season, I spend a lot more time online getting my news.  I refuse to pay extra for a newspaper on Thanksgiving Day.  Do they really expect me to pay more for extra advertising?  I can look at all the same ads online for free.  It’s better to wait until January and get the leftover prices.  Retailers don’t want unsold merchandise taking up shelf space.

Bah!  Humbug!
Every year, I’ve got to listen to some novelty song about five zillion times.  I’m just happy that Grandma doesn’t get run over by a reindeer as often as she used to.

Bah!  Humbug!
It’s that time of year when we get to watch all of those TV specials and rerun movies that are better off forgotten.  It was a Wonderful Life when it was a movie, but 9000 times as a TV special leaves something to be desired.  Did you know that Jimmy Stewart has been dead for fifteen years?  The only good thing you can say is that during the holidays, we don’t have to watch the regular lousy television programming.  Don’t get me started on Chirstmas commercials.

Oh well.  Time for me to stop bah humbugging and write some club related stuff.  I’d like to remind everyone that club dues are due this month.  Two dollars a month is a small price to pay for the benefits of club member ship.  Not only are meetings informative, buy you get access to the club website with a large number of links to “How To” sites, free software downloads, back newsletters, and much more.  I urge you to renew your membership and to tell your friends about the club.  Bring them to a meeting.  The more members we have the more knowledge there is to share.  After all, we are “ Users Helping Users”.

Bah!  Humbug!  My wife just told me to put my shoes on because she wants me to go and help pick out the daughters’ Christmas present.  I know what she really means is that I’ll have to carry something.

Thanks for reading.

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Holiday Ranting & Raving – Originally Published November 2012

August 4, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Here they come again!  This is the time of the year when the Holiday idiots show their true colors to the rest of the world.  So many people at this time of year forget to stop and think.  Others remember to stop, but forget to think.

I’m writing this article in October, but I’ll bet I can predict the news reports we’ll get on November 1.  Some poor kid will get either razor blades or poison in their candy.  Dentist’s will buy Halloween candy by the pound.  Convenience stores will get robbed by people in their Halloween costumes.  Someone will get run over by a drunken driver.

October and November is also when tech companies make all their new product announcements.  Do you think it has anything to do with the upcoming Christmas season?  So far, this years announcements have been more ironic than usual.  Apple announced a seven inch iPad.  Makes me wonder if Steve Jobs was wrong on any other predictions?  Microsoft is making a foray into the hardware business.  Google is increasing the pressure on both software and hardware rivals.  The only thing I can’t figure out is why,  If they can afford to sue each other for billions of dollars, can’t they lower their prices a little.

Halloween is followed by an even scarier holiday – Thanksgiving.  If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, your spouse has never taken you out for Black Friday Shopping.  I’m a fan of good shopping deals, but not if they come at the risk of life and limb.  The Thanksgiving news stories are also the same every year.  There will be at least one customer trampled to death when the doors are opened on Friday.  Isn’t it strange that it usually happens at a Walmart?  Is it because they are the biggest retailer?  Do they have the best deals?  Could it be that their customers are less intelligent?

Other news stories for this holiday will include the celebrities that are working in the soup lines.  Is it a publicity stunt, or do they do it year round without making headlines?  My personal favorites are the people that have to do community service for drunken driving and then get the free publicity.  Lets not forget about all of the Turkey jokes we’ll see on the internet.  For some reason, I think a lot of them this year will have Sesame Streets Big Bird in the punch line.

After we struggle through the Thanksgiving holiday, we can look forward to being bombarded with advertising for all kinds of technology to put under the Christmas tree.  It’s a shame that most of it is so overpriced.  Do you suppose that might account for the increasing crime rate that seems to occur around the end of the year?

Once again, we get to read about the celebrities feeding the downtrodden.  At Christmas time, we seem to get more politicians manning the ladles.  I can never figure out why that is.  The elections are over for the year.  The only thing I really like about this holiday is the after holiday sales.

When I was younger, I used to really worry about meeting a drunken driver on the highway.  The holidays were a reason for extra anxiety, but thanks to technology, we don’t have to worry about getting killed by a drunk.  If you get in an accident, it will most surely be due to someone sending a text on their telephone.

I suppose by now you’re getting tired of my ranting and raving about the holidays.  I’d continue on and tell you about New Years Day, but I’ll save that for next year.

Thanks for reading.

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Companies I Dislike a Lot – Originally Published October 2012

August 4, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Earlier this month, when I was adding the “differences” to the Commodore 64 picture, I started to realize what a loyal consumer I am.  Until they went bankrupt, all except one of the computers I owned were manufactured by Commodore.  The lone exception was a Heathkit Zenith computer kit that I built.

Back in the early 1980’s the VIC 20 was a great first computer.  Later, it was a real joy to own the Commodore 64.  I think anyone that ever owned one will tell you how much they loved it.  The Commodore 128 was a great upgrade.  After all, it had a 64 mode which made it the best of both worlds.  For some reason, the Amiga didn’t impress me all that much.  It was a Commodore though.

I think most people are like me.  I’ve always had good luck with Netgear products, so I tend to buy their stuff when it is a viable choice.  Same way with computers.  Four of the five machines in my house were manufactured by HP.  Brand loyalty is a big thing to most companies.  That’s why they sue all trademark infringements.

Brand loyalty also works in reverse.  Years ago, I was a fan of Sony products (even the Betamax).  I owned the Sony Walkman, a Sony TV, and of course a Sony Discman.  Do you remember the Sony Trinitron microwave?  I think you could say that I was a loyal Sony customer.

That all changed for me when Sony did evil.  In 2005, they put root kits on their music CDs.  It was supposed to be a copyright scheme.  It later turned out that they illegally violated the license agreement for the LAME codec and the VLC Media Player.  That made me so mad that I refused to spend any of my money on Sony products again.  Over the years, it seems that I made a good decision.  Sony has often been in the news since then for various nefarious reasons.

Another company that I refuse to enrich is Electronic Arts.  I dislike them so much that since October of 2000, I’ve slammed them on my personal web site.  Once again, my instincts were proven to be good.  Over the years, Electronic Arts has spent a lot of time in court defending themselves against various lawsuits.

Then there is another of my favorite companies to dislike: Symantec.  Way back in the 1980’s, a great utility named PC Tools was created by Central Point Software.  I was a faithful customer until they were acquired by Symantec for a whole bunch of money.  Like many others, I shifted to the Norton suite because PC Tools was incorporated in it.  Unfortunately, it was never the same program again.  Norton turned out to be bloated software that actually slowed down your computer.  The company received so many complaints ranging from poor customer service to fraudulently putting charges on customer’s credit cards.  They only got away with charging me one time.  They have supposedly gotten better since then, but I’ve never purchased any of their products again.

I guess I’ve done enough ranting and raving for this month.  Please feel free to join me in not supporting Sony, Electronic Arts and Symantec.  When it comes to the computing picture, I can tell you that there aren’t any “differences” in them.

Thanks for reading.

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Reinstalling Windows – Originally Published February 2012

July 30, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Have you ever heard the theory that every other version of the Windows operating system is junk?  (Many people use a different word than “junk”).  I’ve used every Microsoft operating system (except for the server/network versions) since I first changed to MS-DOS from the IBM version.

Personally, I think that all of the Windows versions were OK.  They did what they were supposed to do, operate my computer system.  I’ll admit that some of them were uglier and not as efficient.  You could probably compare them to the Ford Edsel.  The car didn’t look good, but it got you where you were going.  I wonder if somewhere in the world there is somebody with a Betamax recording of the Edsel?

After 30 years, I’m thinking of becoming a Microsoft basher myself.  My theory is that the software engineers deliberately insert a “reinstall” bug in their operating systems.  For years, I’ve listened to stories about computer users that had to reinstall Windows as the only way to fix their system.

I always razzed them a little and bragged about how my computer maintenance routines were so good that I never had to reinstall.  Then it happened.  Last November my desktop froze and no amount of safe mode fiddling would cure the problem.  I checked all of my hardware to make sure it was working properly.  (I was kind of hoping that I would find justification to buy a new machine.)  Alas, it wasn’t a hardware problem.

Finally, I broke down and got out the system restore disks I had made so long ago.  Two computer years is about fifteen dog years.  The only problem with doing a factory restore is that you also reload all of the crapware.  Oh well, at least I know how to take the junk off before I install any software.  After I got my PC up and running, I restored my backup data and checked my Belarc list and reinstalled the same programs I had before.  I wanted to see if I could figure out which program caused the problem.  It never did reoccur.

Then it happened again.  A couple of weeks ago, my machine started to experience random slowdowns.  I checked all of the usual suspects.  There weren’t any Trojans, key loggers, viruses or bad memory chips.  None of the services were slowing it down.  The system wasn’t overheating.

Finally, I sucked it up and got ready to reinstall again.  It was a lot easier the second time because I restored from my Windows upgrade disk.  No crapware was installed.  This time I ended up with a much better system as I haven’t reinstalled a lot of programs that I seldom use.

Curse you Microsoft.  I know that my problems couldn’t possibly be because of anything I did.  You’ve obviously sneaked the reinstall bug into my operating system.  I’ll bet it was done during a Windows Update, probably to punish me for not choosing to do automatic updates.

I’m ready for the next time that evil hits my computer.  If it happens again, I have a system image disk ready to use.  Sadly, I can no longer say that I’ve gone more than twenty years without having to reinstall Windows.

That’s all for this month.  Thanks for reading.

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Amazon App Store – Originally Published October 2013

July 29, 2014 Posted by Tiny

From the Dark Side
by Tiny Ruisch

Recently, I almost downloaded an app from the Google Play Store.  It wanted me to grant the following permissions:
Network communication
full network access
view Wi-Fi connections
view network connections
add or modify calendar events and send email to guests without owners’ knowledge
read phone status and identity
modify or delete the contents of your USB storage
pair with Bluetooth devices
find accounts on the device
test access to protected storage
prevent device from sleeping
expand/collapse status bar

Did you carefully read that permissions list?  Do you think that an app that can change your calender and send email without telling you must be an awesome program?   You would probably think that it’s a utility for managing your contact list, your important documents, or maybe a super schedule manager.

You’d be wrong.  Those permissions are for the Amazon Audible book reader app.  I stumbled on it by accident when I was searching for a book that I wanted to read that the library didn’t have.  Out of all the book sites: e-book, hardcover and paperback, Audible was the cheapest.  I wonder if the price was so low because Amazon thought they could secretly mine my contacts and sell more stuff to people on that list?

I’d check the Amazon Appstore to see if the permissions are the same, but I can’t.  A month or ago, I removed it from all of my devices.  Back in March of 2011 when I installed it, the Appstore seemed like a real good deal.  There was a free paid app every day and many of them were really good ones.   The Swipe Keyboard, Tune In Radio and Documents to Go are just a few that come to my mind.  There were also many good games that you could download an play without the advertisements.

I don’t know if it was always the policy, but about a half year ago, a lot of my “free” apps wouldn’t open.  I would get an error message telling me that I had to be logged in to the Amazon Appstore to use the program.  Of course, it would always happen at the most inconvenient times.  Oh well, I don’t have that problem anymore.

It’s probably my imagination, but my Android devices seem to be a little faster since I deleted the Amazon Appstore and all of the apps that I downloaded.  Maybe the faster speed will give me more time to read that book I purchased from the Google Play Store.

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Categories: Darkside

Black Friday Shopping – Originally Published December 2011

July 25, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Bah!  Humbug!  It’s that time of the year again.  This year I had planned not to be as grumpy during the holiday season as I usually am.  I think it all goes back to when I was in the Navy.  I was a ship’s cook and ended up working almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas for more than twenty years.  Just another day in the salt mines.

My daughter and her family alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas every year with us in Lake Charles and her in-laws in Baton Rouge.  This year was Thanksgiving in the capitol.  My wife told me she wanted to go to Best Buy and wait for the opening so she could buy a TomTom GPS for the oldest Grandson.  I got the model number they were selling and did an internet search.  I found the exact same model for the same price plus free shipping.  That was a line she could easily avoid. I almost forgot to tell you the name of the online merchant with the same deal.  It was Best Buy.

After a delicious turkey dinner at the Cracker Barrel in Sulphur, I was busy relaxing in the computer room playing some online poker.  The wife came in and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to go shopping with her.  I got the hint and put on my shoes.  I was off on my first ever Black Friday shopping excursion.  With any luck at all, it will also be my last ever Black Friday experience.

Our first stop was at Toys R Us.  We had to park in the Walmart parking lot.  We got in the line which went from the door to the South side of the building.  The queue made a bunch of double backs in the parking lot and then looped around the East side of the store.  I estimate the line was about ten miles long.  It was hard to make an adequate guess, but I know it was long.  We stood in the line for about twenty minutes before the boss decided we would start at Walmart.

We got to Wally’s World about 9:30 pm.  The bicycle she wanted to buy was in the Garden Center.  It took about twenty minutes to get from the front door to the line for the bikes.  I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think this was the only product that had an organized line to stand in and wait to make a purchase.  It actually wasn’t too much of a hassle.  I’m glad that was the only thing she wanted to buy.  The other sale items were on pallets in the aisle.  They had plastic wrapping and hand written signs telling us they were not for sale until 10:00 pm.  Shoppers were clustered around the various stacks.  For some reason, they reminded me of vultures waiting for something to die so they could feast.  I counted at least four uniformed law officers.  I’m pretty sure there were more scattered throughout the store.

After the melee at Walmart we headed over to Target for their midnight start to Black Friday.  We got their about a half hour early and got in the line which stretched back to the AT&T store.  Luckily for me, they still had their wireless turned on and I was able to download some reading material for my tablet.  When Target opened, the line moved fairly fast.  We got to enter the store about 12:30 am.  I was surprised to find how organized they were.  There were several employees on hand to direct the traffic in a semi-orderly direction. There wasn’t much crowding around the aisles.  My wife bought a few games and I bought a tin of Altoids.

I finally understand why every year, the shootings, pepper spray, stampedes and other problems occur at Walmart and hardly ever at any of the other retailers.  A little bit of organization and structure goes a long way.

When we left the store the line of people had been replaced by a line of trash along the sidewalk.  Luckily for whoever had to clean it up, there was plenty of room in the trash cans outside the various store fronts.  I’ve never liked litterers and they have just given me another reason to dislike the “Black Friday” hoopla.

Next year, my daughter will be here to go shopping with my wife.  I think I already feel a terrible headache starting.  It will probably peak on Thanksgiving Day 2013.

Thanks for reading.

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