Thoughts From a Clicker
by Tiny Ruisch
I had a small auto accident this past month. As a result, my ten yard old vehicle was declared irreparable by my insurance company. This required me to spend a lot of time buying a “new” old car. It is a 2022 model which is old, but new to me.
Like so many other things in this modern age, our vehicles are loaded with computers and other technology. I am fast deciding that I could live without most of it.
There are so many buttons and controls that I’m beginning to think I’ll have to take a college refresher course to learn about them all. At least my wife has learned how to start the car with a button push instead of turning a key.
When the check engine light in my car goes on, I can’t hit CTRL-ALT-DEL, start the task manager and begin diagnosing the problem. I’m stuck with visiting a repair place that is certified to do the repair. I know I can interface with my vehicle’s computer. Of course, to do it efficiently would cost at least a hundred dollars for the proper equipment and the software. Then I would still probably end up having to go to the certified technician for my repair.
Do I really need to have a computer tell me when I need to stop and check the air pressure in my tires? Could a missed firmware update cause a flat tire? Do I want to take a chance on my transportation being infected with a computer virus?
I guess there isn’t any sense in complaining. Computer chips in our automobiles are here to stay. Since we have them, I can only wish the technicians would install some useful programming.
I remember a Plymouth my father had when I was a young man. It had a push button gear shift. On the left side of the dashboard was a light sensor that automatically dimmed the headlights whenever another car approached. Your headlights also dimmed when they were reflected off of a white building. I wonder why the designers/technicians have decided automatic dimmers aren’t as important as your tire pressure?
I wish that someone would invent an automobile application that automatically turns on the radio and tunes in programs I want to listen to. I would never miss “Tech Nation” again. Good programming could also change the station when a show I don’t like comes on.
If that GPS thing knows where I stop to use the toilet and can help unlock my car from afar, why can’t they program my vehicle to hit the brakes when an accident is imminent? It would sure be a lot cheaper than my car calling for the ambulance.
It looks like they have finally invented those robot car drivers that I’ve read about for years in the Popular Science magazine. It hasn’t stopped me from worrying about the other driver talking on the phone, reading the newspaper, eating their lunch, combing their hair, etc.
My new old car has a program that keeps it from drifting into the adjacent lane? Couldn’t they put in a subroutine so the car will stop when the traffic light turns yellow? I sure wish they would put in a line or two of code to stop other cars from tailgating me.
I’m impressed that I can tell my car to call Pat and tell her I’m going to be late for a meeting. I wish I could say “Set cruise control” instead of looking for a button to push. Sometimes I’d like to say “Eject passenger”, but that would probably be illegal.
I figure that if every time I drive somewhere, if I learn what one of the controls do, in a year or so I will be proficient in operating my machine.
Enough wishful thinking. They’ve already made the best technological advancement possible. You can plug your coffee cup in and keep the coffee hot. What will they think of next?
Thanks for reading.