Posts Tagged: ‘Miscellaneous’

Halloween Pranks

October 16, 2014 Posted by Tiny

Halloween Pranks
By Tiny Ruisch

October is my favorite month of the year.  I’ve always enjoyed Halloween.  I guess it is probably because you can usually get away with a harmless prank or two.  I personally would never flip over an outhouse, unhinge a gate or let the air out of anyone’s car tires.

In this modern age, Halloween pranks almost beg to be played on someones computer.  Almost every one uses a laser mouse these days.  They can be easily disabled with a small piece of clear tape on the sensor.  Many people won’t notice and will have a hard time figuring out why all of a sudden their mouse isn’t working.  You can confuse them even more by opening mouse properties in the control panel.  Changing the mouse speed to the slowest setting will make any mouse activities an ordeal.

Another prank that has been around forever can still confuse even a veteran computer user.  Simply take a screen shot of your victim’s computer.  Then hide all of the desktop icons and replace their wallpaper with the screen shot.  Sit back and watch them click on icons that won’t load a program.

Another quick prank is to open Google’s home page in a browser.  Click on preferences and change the default language.  You’d be surprised at how many people this trick will fool.

Many users don’t know about sticky keys.  Sticky keys changes how the Ctrl, Alt, Shift and Windows Key function.  Keys are serialized instead of operating together.  For instance, instead of typing “Shift – a” to capitalize, you would have to type “Shift”, release the key and then type “a”.  This key change will drive an unsuspecting victim crazy.  Sticky keys are enabled by pressing the “Shift” key five times in quick succession.

An evil prank that you should only play on someone that won’t beat you up is to cause their computer to shut down.  Right click on one of the icons on your victims desk top.  Type the following in the target box: %windir%\System32\shutdown.exe -s -f -t 100 -c “Your Message Here”.  Your Message Here can be replaced with whatever message you like.  I use something like “That does not compute so I am shutting down” or “I’m sleepy.  I think I’ll shut down and rest now.”

Whenever the victim double clicks on that shortcut, their program will not start.  Instead, your message will display for 100 seconds (unless you change the number in the target box.)  Then the computer will shut down.

These Halloween computer pranks are all designed for the Windows operating system.  Although they are non-destructive, you run the risk of aggravating the user and making him or her possibly want to harm you.  Use them at your own risk.

It would be nice if you fix their computer for them afterword, but who am I to tell you what to do?

My mind is empty again. Thanks for reading.

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Reading List

October 16, 2014 Posted by Tiny

Reading List
By Tiny Ruisch

Ever since I learned how, I’ve always been an avid reader.  My parents didn’t have a television until I was about ten years old.  That never bothered me.  The library had a lot of entertainment.  In later life, when I was in the Navy, I seldom watched the ship’s movie.  I was busy finishing reading one more chapter before lights out.  These days, I still read at least a dozen magazines each month.  I am usually reading four or five books at a time.  I’ve got my bedside book, bathroom book, digital book and an audio book for my morning walk.

Accompanying the August 2013 club meeting library services topic, I thought I’d take a few minutes and share my books to read list.  With one exception, these are all books that I haven’t read.  I’ve included the Amazon link for each title just in case anyone else would like to read them.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think any of them are available from the Parish library.

The Manly Art of Knitting – The description says it all. Who am I to not read a cult classic.

Folks, This Ain’t Normal: A Farmer’s Advice for Happier Hens, Healthier People, and a Better World – With a sixteen word title, this just has to be a great book.

Winning Lotto / Lottery For Everyday Players – I’ll read this if I ever start playing the lottery.

The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China – I’ve been to China two or three times and never realized this was a problem.

Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-Tung – Confucius say, “Smooth words and fawning looks are seldom found with love.”

Much Ado About Nothing: The Restored Klingon Text – Shakespeare kind of looked like a Klingon.

Fancy Coffins to Make Yourself – I’ve been thinking of taking up woodworking and this looks like an interesting first project.

A Passion for Donkeys – I figure that any book that gets a five star rating on Amazon must be a good one to read.

The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America – I just hate going to the Walmart parking lot.

I guess you’ve probably figured out by now that I don’t really plan on reading all of these books.  I have read one of the books on the list.  I won’t tell you which one.  You can feel free to read any of them and post a review on our club website.

A final thought. Looking at this book list, I’m reminded of one book that it makes me want to read again.  It was one of Ray Bradbury’s best books.

My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

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Medical Technology

October 16, 2014 Posted by Tiny

Medical Technology
By Tiny Ruisch

Unfortunately, I recently got to experience some modern medical technology up close and personal.  I’ve made a few random observations.

On a Saturday morning, I had some severe urinary problems and went to the emergency room at Christus hospital.  I deliberately picked Christus because that is the one my family doctor is affiliated with.  They are all on the same computer network and it should be easy for him to get copies of all the reports.  Guess again.

Of course, the first thing the emergency room did was take a bunch of blood for testing.  I explained that I had just completed my annual blood work that week.  I suppose those reports weren’t fresh enough.  After all, they were three days old.  Oh well. I was in way too much pain to try and reason with them.  They gave me some medications and sent me home with instructions to call if I wasn’t better the next day.

On Sunday, I disregarded the instructions.  I was in so much pain that I didn’t call.  My wife and daughter took me back to the emergency room.  If you guessed that I needed more blood tests, you’re a good guesser.  I asked if they thought my blood counts had really changed in the last 24 hours.  The answer was no, but rules are rules.  Luckily, I have a lot of veins in my body.

After a really painful day, I learned an important lesson about medical equipment.  Catheter should really be spelled with four letters.

My urologist scheduled me for surgery at the Lake Area Medical Center.  They have a real nifty system there.  Before being admitted for surgery, you have to spend a day doing all the pre-admission stuff.  Of course, this included another blood donation.  I was beginning to wonder if I kept failing the test.  I’ll bet the nurses said, “Keep sticking a needle in him until he gets it right!”

I also had the pleasure of another MRI to duplicate the one the emergency room people did.  I was beginning to see why health care costs are so high.  I also got an EKG.  That made me feel special since it was the only one.

I finally finished all of my tests and got all of my admission papers signed and copied.  I’ve seen plenty of long, complicated computer software EULAs.  They were nothing compared to the 28 pages it took to explain all of the rights and responsibilities etc. for both the hospital and myself.  I like to read anything I sign, so it took me quite a while.  I hope I didn’t need a lawyer.

Finally, the big day arrived.  The first thing I had to do was sign the admission papers.  There were 28 pages of them.  Page for page they were exactly the same as I had just signed a few days earlier.  Only the dates were changed.  I guess that was probably to protect the innocent.

I finally got to my room.  The nurse came in and started to prep me for surgery.  The first thing she asked me was what I was there for.  I chuckled, told her and commented that I was sure nobody else wanted to go through my procedure.  She got me dressed in a technological advanced gown.  It was a simple, light weight and opened in the back.  I suppose that was for easy access to the bathroom.  She started my intravenous tube.  She also outfitted me with a pair of compression socks and an air pump to keep the blood circulating in my legs.

A little later, the operating room nurse came in to brief me.  The first thing she asked me was what I was there for.  She then told me what to expect when I got into the operating room.  She told me the anesthesiologist would soon come by to talk to me.

Sure enough, about 15 minutes later, there she was.  The first thing the anesthesiologist asked me was what I was there for.  I said I was starting to get a little concerned because everyone asked me the same thing.  She told me that they all asked me to avoid confusion and to make sure they were talking to the correct patient.  I immediately double checked my plastic wrist bracelet.  My name was still correct on it.

Finally, my urologist came in to tell me I was next in line and he’d be ready in about 20 minutes.  I was sure glad he didn’t ask me what I was there for.

When I woke up in my hospital room, I was hooked up to several monitors.  One measured the oxygen content in my blood.  Almost every time I fell asleep, my oxygen level fell and a piercing alarm would sound.  It made for a pretty miserable night.

I’d have to say that modern medical technology didn’t do much to give me a smooth, tranquil experience.  All I noticed was a lot of redundancy.  Then again, I’m pretty sure I’ve been cured.

My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

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National Do Not Call Registry – Originally Published April 2014

September 15, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Does anyone remember the Perry Mason television show that aired back in the 1950’s and 60’s?  Perry was a lawyer that had an extra phone line installed in his office.  The only people that had this second telephone number was his secretary and a private detective.  That way, whenever the phone rang, Perry knew it was important and would answer it immediately.

Here we are, sixty years later.  Almost everyone has a telephone they can carry with them wherever they go.  Isn’t technology great?  Now we can get a call almost everywhere we are.  Gone are the days of running to the telephone from the other side of the house, picking it up and hearing a dial tone.

Hardly anyone has to miss a call anymore.  You can answer it in the mall, behind the steering wheel, walking down the street or sitting on your throne.  How wonderful!

Unfortunately, behind every silver lining, there is a cloud.  It is so easy for telemarketers to program their computers to call you and everyone else that has a phone number.  Don’t you just love all of those interruptions?  Me neither.  I sure wish the government would save us.

Wait a minute!  I nearly forgot!  The government is already protecting us from unwanted calls.  On March 11, 2003, President George W. Bush signed into law the Do Not Call Implementation Act.  The law established the FTC’s National Do Not Call Registry in order to facilitate compliance with the Telephone Consumer Protection Act of 1991.  This law is working so good that compliance complaints have increased every year except one.  You would think that complaints would decrease until unwanted calls are a thing of the past.

Could it be that people are complaining because of the law’s exemptions?  A person may still receive calls from political organizations.  Luckily for me, I don’t get any of those types of calls.

A person may still receive calls from not for profit organizations.  Once again, I’ve been lucky.  I don’t get any of those types of calls.

A person may still receive calls from companies with which he or she has an existing business relationship for up to eighteen months after their last purchase, payment or delivery from it.  I can’t believe how my luck is holding.  I don’t get any of those types of calls either.

My personal favorite exemption is that a person may still receive calls from companies conducting surveys.  Turns out that some of these companies call with a survey and then ask for permission to make a follow up call.  The follow up is an attempt to sell you something.  Guess what?  My luck is still holding.  I haven’t gotten any survey calls.

Even though I have never registered for the Do Not Call list, I expect that my luck will continue to be pretty good.  I don’t really care who has my phone number.  If I receive a call from a number that isn’t in my address book, it goes straight to my voice mail.  When my phone actually rings, I know that it is a call I probably want to answer.  Just like Perry Mason, I don’t get calls from unwanted people.

That’s all of my thoughts for April.  My mind is empty again.  Thanks for reading.

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Password Grievances – Originally Published March 2014

September 7, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Dashlane, a password manager program, recently released a report assessing the password policies of the top 100 e-commerce sellers in the United States.  They examined 24 different criteria identified as important to online security.  Each company could receive a score between plus 100 and minus 100.

Interestingly, the most secure site was Apple.  In spot number five was Target.  Lately, they have had a few other “security” problems.  The bottom spot was graced by MLB (Major League Baseball).  Near the bottom, with a score of -40, was Amazon.  Do you know anyone who has purchased from them?

I’m not going to bore you with the details of which websites were good or bad.  If you’re interested, you can read Dashlane’s blog by clicking on the link.  If you would like to see the full report, click here.

One of the things the report highlighted for me was how widespread are some of the things I really hate about online passwords.  Why do these sites even let you create the passwords monkey, danger, 123456, 0000, etc.?  It just demonstrates that they don’t really care about security.

Another thing that makes no sense is having those little asterisks show when you are typing in your passwords.  It had some usefulness in the 1990’s, but it doesn’t in 2014.  I have noticed that a few web sites do have a “show password” button.  Want to really test what a company thinks about password security?  Click on the “I forgot my password” button.  A lot of them will go through a lot of rigamarole.  Your password is so important to them that you have to know some silly fact like the breed of your first dog or what brand of diapers you used as a child.  They then proceed to e-mail your password in plain text.

As you may or may not know, I use a password manager.  I like to generate and use big complicated passwords like |%;,0w4>\rN@aJvrh>7;,?-:T”A8rBbyxWqmk}oh.  Unfortunately, many web sites won’t accept that password.  Many places limit the number of characters in the password, some as few as twelve.  Other sites won’t allow all of the special characters.

I think that there is such a thing as too much security.  One of the sites that I want to remain really secure is my military retirement pay.  It used to be that when you typed in your password, they required that you use an on screen keyboard.  Copy and paste wasn’t allowed.  It was a really pain in the rear of my left foot to correctly enter the password.  To make it even worse, there was a time out.  If you didn’t complete your entry in 15 seconds (I think it was), you had to start over.

They have since changed their password policies.  I think that all on line banking sites should be as good.  The on screen keyboard is still there but it is optional.  You are required to change your password every 60 days.  Here is a complete set of password rules:
The Password must:
be 15 to 30 characters in length
contain at least two UPPERCASE letters (A-Z)
contain at least two lowercase letters(a-z)
contain at least two numbers (0-9)
contain at least two of the following special characters: # @ $ ^ ! * + = _ %
change at least four characters from the previous password.
The PASSWORD CANNOT:
contain spaces
be one of your last 10 previous passwords

That’s all of my thoughts for March.  My mind is empty again.

Thanks for reading.

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Christmas Gift Suggestions – Originally Published December 2013

August 26, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Bah! Humbug!

It’s that time of the year again.  The retailers want us to spend all of our hard earned nickels on lots of things that we don’t really need.  My theory has always been that if I really need or want something, I don’t wait for Christmas.  I only have to wait until the item goes on sale for a price that I’m willing to pay.

Every year the kids and grand kids ask me what I want for Christmas.  I usually tell them something like, “a new pickup would be nice”, or “how about an internet capable 52 inch TV?”  Thankfully, they don’t have that much money and always get me something I really can use.

Over the years, I’ve gotten some great things.  Most of them were some kind of technology or computer related objects.  I’ve had so many people comment on what a great computer bag I have.  It was a Christmas present.

If you’re thinking about buying a computer or other electronic related gift for someone, here are my suggestions on what you might buy:

1) A subscription to Amazon Prime, Netflix, Hulu Plus or another streaming service is a great gift idea for someone that likes to watch movies.

2) A quality dual band router from any of the major manufacturers.

3) A McKlein Computer Bag – I’ve had mine for about five years now with never a problem.  I’ve carried it with me on many car trips, cruise ships and a few airline flights.  Their bags are all leather, with solid construction.  I recommend them without any reservations.

4) A quality solar charger will ensure that the gift recipient will always have a charged phone to answer your calls.  Rechargeable batteries would also make a great gift.

5) A subscription to Carbonite will keep their computer backed up at all times.  There are several backup programs, but Carbonite has been around for a long time and will likely not go belly-up.  It works securely in the background.

6) Google Chromecast plugs into an HDMI port on their television and will allow them to stream video from a cell phone, tablet, etc.

7) A gift card for the Google Play Store, the Apple Store, the Amazon Appstore or wherever they buy their software, music, movies, etc.

8) And the best gift suggestion of all: A membership to the Southwest Louisiana PC Users Group.

Have a Happy Christmas!

Thanks for reading.

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Things I’m Thankful For – Originally Published November 2013

August 26, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

It’s that time of year again.  November is here and it is the time for us all to give thanks.  I don’t know why I should have to do this.  Every month I end this column the same.  I always write, “Thanks for reading.”  Isn’t that enough to be thankful for?  Luckily, I’ll be able to write a full column this month because there are a lot of other things that I’m thankful for.  Here they are in no particular order.

First, but not most, I’m thankful to belong to a computer club with a newsletter where I can publish my monthly ramblings.  One of these days, I plan to really get going on my website again.  You can bet that I’ll be doing a lot of cutting and pasting.  While I’m on the subject, I’m thankful that we have a great Newsletter Editor.  Lane accepts almost all of my input, corrects and formats it and puts together the newsletter every month.  We should all tell her thanks.

Second, but neither most nor least, I’m thankful to live in Lake Charles.  I moved here to be closer to the grandsons, but there are a lot of incidental benefits.  Lake Charles has a great municipal park system.  They are all well maintained, have restroom facilities, plenty of shady benches and are frequently patrolled by law enforcement.  There are a lot of great museums in the area and lots of musical entertainment venues.  Not only are the movie theaters excellent, but who doesn’t like a movie under the stars in the park?  In fact there is only one bad thing about living in Lake Charles.  It’s hard to spell “Calcasieu” Parish.  It’s a good thing you can add words to the Libre Office spelling checker.

Third, but neither most nor least, I’m thankful that most of my Yankee relatives and friends haven’t moved here.  I have a lot of fun replying to their social posts.  When they complain about white stuff falling from the sky, I usually gripe that I have to go out and mow the lawn.  Sometimes they get upset with me when I innocently ask, “What’s snow?”

Fourth, but neither most nor least, I’m thankful that our club members seem to enjoy my monthly Mind Bender puzzle.  I’ve learned a lot of information while doing research.  Hopefully, it will help keep my mind active.  I’ll bet if I ever appeared on Jeopardy, I’d finish in third place or higher.

Fifth, but neither most nor least, I’m thankful for all of the little things that make my life easier.  I don’t know what I’d do without toilet paper, scissors, zippers, coffee, my tablet, dental flossers, Duct tape, flash drives and my recliner.

Last, but not least, I’m thankful that I’m done writing my Whatchamacallit column for another month.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Thanks for reading.

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Things I Miss About Gaming – Originally Published October 2013

August 24, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

I’ve been thinking about buying a Minecraft gaming account.  The grandson has been playing the demo and it looks like a game that I might enjoy.  I mentioned to him that I might do that and of course he is in favor of me doing it.  I told him that it wouldn’t make a difference because I couldn’t download it to his tablet.

That got to reminiscing  about one of the things I miss about playing computer games in the old days.  I miss software that didn’t have to be installed and could be run off the disk.  You didn’t have to worry about how much hard drive space was available or about memory conflicts.  If you went to a friends house, you just had to pop the disk in the drive and play on their computer.  To some extent, we can still do that with portable programs that run off a flash drive.

I’m not much of a game player these days, but I sure miss the old Infocom games.  Their advertising line was, “We put our graphics where the sun don’t shine.”  That was because there was no graphics.  The games were all text adventures.  The puzzles were all difficult.  You had to both think and imagine to play.  Maybe someday I’ll make a monthly Mindbender with questions about old games.

When was the last time you plugged a joystick into your computer?  It used to be that you needed a good one to play any games.  Wolfenstein, Space Invaders, Pacman and the many flight simulators needed one to be playable.  I still remember the last time I saw my old joystick.  It was the night I blew the dust off it and brought it to the club meeting to put on the giveaway table.

Some of the best games were free from many computer magazines.  They printed the code and you had to type it in for the program to run.  I remember sitting for hours with my six inch ruler marking the line, tediously typing in numbers and the letters a through f.  If just one digit was wrong, the software wouldn’t run and you had to spend hours troubleshooting.  I used to get a lot of good games from a company called Softdisk.  They were based in Shreveport and published several “Disk Magazines”.  Each month, I would eagerly wait for my Loadstar disk for the Commodore 64.

With the use of emulators, you can still download and play a lot of the old games on your modern computer.  If you’re interested, check out My Abandonware or The Internet Archive.  The games are free, but they don’t seem quite as good as I remember them.

I still haven’t decided if I’ll try Minecraft.

Thanks for reading.

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My Trip to Iowa – Originally Published September 2013

August 21, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

I’ve been thinking about how there is a huge electronic generation gap.  On my recent trip visiting relatives and old friends in Yankee land, there was plenty of tech in the vehicle.  There were three tablets, one laptop and three internet capable smart phones.  Surprisingly, I was the only one using Bluetooth headphones.  Prior to the trip, I had purchased a 10,000 MAh battery pack.  It turned out to be a good investment as there was something that always needed an electrical boost.  Auto makers obviously need to install more outlets.

During the trip, I noticed that most of the older people used either a flip phone or one with a slide out keyboard.  The younger folks mostly had some type of “smart” phone with easy to use text capabilities and photographing.  I was kind of surprised that many users didn’t know about some common, useful apps.  There are some new users of Gas Buddy, What’s Ahead, MX Player and Easy Battery Saver.

Over the years, I’ve made this trip several times.  It’s a fairly simple route: 171 North from Lake Charles, 71 North to Kansas City and then I-29 North to the state of Iowa (not that town to the East).  My grandson and son-in-law did the driving.  They had a Garmin GPS on the windshield.  About every half hour or so, one of them would pull get out their phone and check the navigation app to make sure we were still on the correct road.  I was also amused when someone would make a weather announcement.  I would usually just look out the window and say, “You’re right!”

One of the most amusing parts of the trip was when one of the navigators decided to take a shortcut.  One of the many mapping apps showed a shortcut.  We got off the main road and did save ten miles or so of driving.  Unfortunately, it was on a narrow, gravel road through the hills.  A typical shortcut that took twice as long to drive . What made me really laugh was when, about two hours later, they did it again.

While watching the hometown parade, walking in the park, sitting at the pool and during other photo opportunities, most of us older people were using some kind of camera.  Most of the younger ones utilized their phone camera.  A few people were holding up a tablet and just looked silly.  I think we are on are way to a time when taking photographs will be like tuning up your car.  The equipment will only be manufactured and sold to professionals and serious hobbyists.

One of the scariest things on the trip for me was just looking out the window.  In at least half of the vehicles we passed, the drivers were either talking or sending texts on their phones.  Almost without exception, they were not driving in a very straight line.  The worst one was a gal that had her phone up to the ear.  Her other hand was holding a book and steering the car.  She was not only distracted, but dangerously so.

Now that I think about it, I may have been wrong about the generation gap.  She looked to be about 70 years old.

Thanks for reading.

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Technology Generation Gap – Originally Published July 2013

August 21, 2014 Posted by Tiny

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

It’s hard to believe that July is here again.  This is the time of the year when I should be thinking of taking the grandsons to a baseball game.  We should be going to the park for a picnic followed by a romp in the water park.  In the cool of the early morning, I should be doing my walking at the golf course.  In the hear of the afternoons, I should be at the swimming pool checking out the latest fashions in bikini swimwear.  July is the perfect time of year for doing so many things.

Instead, I’ve been thinking about telegrams.  On July 14, the Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limited (BSNL) will be sending the last telegraph ever.  The BSNL is India’s state run telegraph company.  When I was much younger, the telegraph was the fastest way to get an important message to someone.  Modern telegraphy really died in 2006 when Western Union discontinued their service.

Telegrams are now just another part of the generation gap between my grandchildren and me.  They have been replaced by e-mail, FAX machines and electronic banking.

Of course, modern technology has relegated many other things to the generation gap junkyard.  The first telephone I remember my parents having installed in the farmhouse was a box with a big microphone sticking out of the front.  You had to hold another microphone shaped object against your ear.  There was a small crank on the side of the box.  You turned the crank several times to wake up the operator.  When she came on the line, you simply told her who you wanted to call.  It’s all history now.  Almost everyone has a telephone in their pocket.  We don’t even call them telephones any more.  Just plain phone.

Today’s generation mostly listens to their music on a machine connected to the internet.  There are still a few compact discs around.  Cassette, reel to reel, 8-track and vinyl records are victims of the technology generation gap.

Oh well, at least I can still drive my pickup to the library.  It’s time to go visit the grandchildren.  We might play a game of Monopoly, or maybe some dominoes.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Thanks for reading.

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