Tinys World of Technology BS

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Here they come again!  This is the time of the year when the Holiday idiots show their true colors to the rest of the world.  So many people at this time of year forget to stop and think.  Others remember to stop, but forget to think.

I’m writing this article in October, but I’ll bet I can predict the news reports we’ll get on November 1.  Some poor kid will get either razor blades or poison in their candy.  Dentist’s will buy Halloween candy by the pound.  Convenience stores will get robbed by people in their Halloween costumes.  Someone will get run over by a drunken driver.

October and November is also when tech companies make all their new product announcements.  Do you think it has anything to do with the upcoming Christmas season?  So far, this years announcements have been more ironic than usual.  Apple announced a seven inch iPad.  Makes me wonder if Steve Jobs was wrong on any other predictions?  Microsoft is making a foray into the hardware business.  Google is increasing the pressure on both software and hardware rivals.  The only thing I can’t figure out is why,  If they can afford to sue each other for billions of dollars, can’t they lower their prices a little.

Halloween is followed by an even scarier holiday – Thanksgiving.  If you’re wondering what I’m talking about, your spouse has never taken you out for Black Friday Shopping.  I’m a fan of good shopping deals, but not if they come at the risk of life and limb.  The Thanksgiving news stories are also the same every year.  There will be at least one customer trampled to death when the doors are opened on Friday.  Isn’t it strange that it usually happens at a Walmart?  Is it because they are the biggest retailer?  Do they have the best deals?  Could it be that their customers are less intelligent?

Other news stories for this holiday will include the celebrities that are working in the soup lines.  Is it a publicity stunt, or do they do it year round without making headlines?  My personal favorites are the people that have to do community service for drunken driving and then get the free publicity.  Lets not forget about all of the Turkey jokes we’ll see on the internet.  For some reason, I think a lot of them this year will have Sesame Streets Big Bird in the punch line.

After we struggle through the Thanksgiving holiday, we can look forward to being bombarded with advertising for all kinds of technology to put under the Christmas tree.  It’s a shame that most of it is so overpriced.  Do you suppose that might account for the increasing crime rate that seems to occur around the end of the year?

Once again, we get to read about the celebrities feeding the downtrodden.  At Christmas time, we seem to get more politicians manning the ladles.  I can never figure out why that is.  The elections are over for the year.  The only thing I really like about this holiday is the after holiday sales.

When I was younger, I used to really worry about meeting a drunken driver on the highway.  The holidays were a reason for extra anxiety, but thanks to technology, we don’t have to worry about getting killed by a drunk.  If you get in an accident, it will most surely be due to someone sending a text on their telephone.

I suppose by now you’re getting tired of my ranting and raving about the holidays.  I’d continue on and tell you about New Years Day, but I’ll save that for next year.

Thanks for reading.

A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch

Bah!  Humbug!  It’s that time of the year again.  This year I had planned not to be as grumpy during the holiday season as I usually am.  I think it all goes back to when I was in the Navy.  I was a ship’s cook and ended up working almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas for more than twenty years.  Just another day in the salt mines.

My daughter and her family alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas every year with us in Lake Charles and her in-laws in Baton Rouge.  This year was Thanksgiving in the capitol.  My wife told me she wanted to go to Best Buy and wait for the opening so she could buy a TomTom GPS for the oldest Grandson.  I got the model number they were selling and did an internet search.  I found the exact same model for the same price plus free shipping.  That was a line she could easily avoid. I almost forgot to tell you the name of the online merchant with the same deal.  It was Best Buy.

After a delicious turkey dinner at the Cracker Barrel in Sulphur, I was busy relaxing in the computer room playing some online poker.  The wife came in and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to go shopping with her.  I got the hint and put on my shoes.  I was off on my first ever Black Friday shopping excursion.  With any luck at all, it will also be my last ever Black Friday experience.

Our first stop was at Toys R Us.  We had to park in the Walmart parking lot.  We got in the line which went from the door to the South side of the building.  The queue made a bunch of double backs in the parking lot and then looped around the East side of the store.  I estimate the line was about ten miles long.  It was hard to make an adequate guess, but I know it was long.  We stood in the line for about twenty minutes before the boss decided we would start at Walmart.

We got to Wally’s World about 9:30 pm.  The bicycle she wanted to buy was in the Garden Center.  It took about twenty minutes to get from the front door to the line for the bikes.  I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think this was the only product that had an organized line to stand in and wait to make a purchase.  It actually wasn’t too much of a hassle.  I’m glad that was the only thing she wanted to buy.  The other sale items were on pallets in the aisle.  They had plastic wrapping and hand written signs telling us they were not for sale until 10:00 pm.  Shoppers were clustered around the various stacks.  For some reason, they reminded me of vultures waiting for something to die so they could feast.  I counted at least four uniformed law officers.  I’m pretty sure there were more scattered throughout the store.

After the melee at Walmart we headed over to Target for their midnight start to Black Friday.  We got their about a half hour early and got in the line which stretched back to the AT&T store.  Luckily for me, they still had their wireless turned on and I was able to download some reading material for my tablet.  When Target opened, the line moved fairly fast.  We got to enter the store about 12:30 am.  I was surprised to find how organized they were.  There were several employees on hand to direct the traffic in a semi-orderly direction. There wasn’t much crowding around the aisles.  My wife bought a few games and I bought a tin of Altoids.

I finally understand why every year, the shootings, pepper spray, stampedes and other problems occur at Walmart and hardly ever at any of the other retailers.  A little bit of organization and structure goes a long way.

When we left the store the line of people had been replaced by a line of trash along the sidewalk.  Luckily for whoever had to clean it up, there was plenty of room in the trash cans outside the various store fronts.  I’ve never liked litterers and they have just given me another reason to dislike the “Black Friday” hoopla.

Next year, my daughter will be here to go shopping with my wife.  I think I already feel a terrible headache starting.  It will probably peak on Thanksgiving Day 2013.

Thanks for reading.