A Pain in the Whatchamacallit
By Tiny Ruisch
Way back in June 2013, I wrote an article describing many of the things that I was going to invent. Unfortunately, due to time constraints, I never did get around to marketing the tonocle, the T-belt, the CORdrive or the other great ideas I had. Since then, I’ve thought of more inventions to market.
How many times have you meant to throw something in the trash can and missed it because the darn thing was just out of reach? That will never happen again when I start selling the TINYtrasher. This remarkable machine will be a modified trash can on wheels. It will be WIFI enabled and can be summoned to wherever you are by pushing the trash icon on your phone or other WIFI enabled device.
The TINYlet is going to be a modern day, useful replacement for the toilet in any bathroom. Seat up or down arguments would be a thing of the past. The TINYlet seat would always lower itself two minutes after a flush. When a user enters the bathroom, the seat would always be down. If it needs to be raised a simple step-lever would change the seat to the proper position. The super, duper, custom TINYlet will be the only toilet in the world that would never plug up and need to be plunged. An installed garbage disposal would grind up any blockage.
Tiny’s ClearVue toaster will easily toast your bread with infrared rays. The traditional metal sides of the toaster would be replaced with a clear acrylic plastic. The advantage of a ClearVue is simple. You can see the progress of the toasting bread. Each slice would be cooked to the perfect shade of brown for each individual user.
Ten years ago, I almost invented the TINoller. This was going to be a modified baby stroller. My initial thought was to attach a motorized wheel chair to the back of my grandson’s stroller so that I could easily push him. Realizing that this idea would prevent me from getting any actual exercise on my daily walk, I thought about attaching a scooter. This would enable me to push and ride at the same time. He outgrew the stroller before I could build it, but the idea is still valid.
The TINY Paper Roller is the invention that will ensure that the toilet paper is always placed correctly on the dispenser roller. The dispenser would have a small lip at the back of the dispenser under the roll. If the paper is placed on the roll backwards, the paper would catch on the lip and bunch up. The dispenser would only work if the toilet paper is properly installed so that the paper rolls off the top towards the user.
Don’t you hate it when you’re driving down the road and hit the occasional, rare, pothole, causing your coffee to spill out of the cup and into your car’s cup holder? If you’re like me and don’t like using lids or only filling your cup half full, you will need to buy the TinyUnSpill cup. This cup will have a small Geo-sensor embedded in the bottom “spring” plate. Whenever your vehicle hits something like a speed bump, the sensor will react to the rising cup and automatically open a hydraulic valve which will raise the cup and prevent the liquid from splashing over the side. Hitting a pot hole will have the opposite effect. This cup will not spill your beverage, unless you slide sideways.
Remember the Pet Rock craze of years past? I’ve been thinking of creating the “Tiny Pet Mouse Registry” or TIPEMORE. Almost everyone in the world has an old computer mouse laying around. For a small registration fee, people can register their mouse on TIPEMORE. After their mouse becomes an official pet, they will be able to spend more of their money on buying things like care and feeding instructions, how to play with your pet, showing off your pet, etc. This could be a great money maker.
I had better quit writing now and go get my Kickstarter applications filled out. I’m certain that with my great ideas I will have no problem raising millions of dollars in funding.
Thanks for reading.